A few dislikes

Morris Cargill

Today is New Year's Eve and I'm very glad that the Christmas season is coming to an end. I must tell you that unlike most people I dislike Christmas. First of all I think it is a phony date for nobody knows the date on which Christ was born. Moreover, I am not very happy that the Christians have turned an extremely wise Jew into a Christian God; a somewhat ironic situation considering that it was the Christians who invented anti-Se-mitism.

But, in addition to all that, I dislike the crowds, the noise, the traffic jams and the extravagance of Christmas. For years now, I have been ignoring Christmas in the hope that it will go away, but, of course, it never has. I also dislike advertisers who use misspellings to attract attention. For instance, one Miss Peggy McLean advertises what she calls her "Krismas Kollection" which merely exhibits her inability to spell.

However, this Christmas we have had on excellent, if sick joke, to cheer us up. This concerns what has come to be known as the Great Refund by the JPS. On our future bills we shall be given a credit for the refund at the same time we are debited an equal amount for the extra tariff. I think that this splendidly amusing idea must have originated from the great mind of the pachydermatous Pickersgill, a perambulating ministerial disaster who survives continuing failures. I can only imagine that his immortality is a consequence of his knowing where the bodies are buried.

I think it is high time that the Prime Minister descended briefly from cloud nine to put him out of his misery and unto the back benches.

With all those happy thoughts I would like to wish all my readers a pleasant New Year.

* Morris Cargill is The Gleaner's senior columnist and has been writing for more than 45 years.