THE G-15 SHOW which was billed as a big international event, and which the Prime Minister had hoped he could use as a g-string to cover the nakedness of his country's finances, unfortunately shrank in size when more than half of the top chaps didn't bother to turn up.

Still, the ones that came managed to work up quite a sweat in spite of the unusually cool weather. In fact, as The Gleaner report put it, passion gripped them as they served up generous helpings of rhetoric. All had a great time bashing the Yanks in general but specifically over bananas, with which I whole heartedly agree. They also bashed globalisation, with which I agree in part, and made a plea for debt cancellation which, naturally, being a denizen of the Third World, it is a hope which I support though it is probably forlorn.

Dr. Mahatthir Bin Mohamed of Malaysia brought tears to all eyes about the terrible fate that had befallen the erstwhile Tigers as a result of the capitalism of the developed nations. He omitted to mention that their downfall was because their own capitalists had become intoxicated by the exuberance of their own capitalism. They had jumped too high and had come a nasty cropper.

The conference was in general agreement that the hardships of the Third World were due to the general wickedness of the developed nations, a view to which I agree to some extent. On the other hand, it was understandable that nobody mentioned that the chief cause of the Third World woes is that, with the honourable exception of splendid little Barbados, Third World leaders have mostly been stupid and their administrative systems corrupt. In addition, too many people in the Third World have aspired to a US standard of living without having US resources. This has involved them in vast borrowings to maintain a way of life which they have not earned. Nevertheless, I am sure that all the delegates must have had a nice time in our slightly slummy tourist town.

This had been our second great conference recently, the first having been the great Kingston Gas Works. I must confess that these expensive and rather pompous occasions make me queasy. However, the G-15 or those at any rate who turned up are, according to the Prime Minister, now girding up their loins to instruct G-7, the industrial powers, how to manage world trade and finance. I am sure G-7 will listen politely. It may also give the Prime Minister nice long holiday breaks from his Jamaican worries, not that he ever seems to worry about them. Indeed our Prime Minister is building up quite a considerable reputation as an international statesman, unless, of course, his country's finances collapse under him too soon.

Wasting money

Mr. Adrian Strachan, the Auditor General, tells us that $33m of public money has simply disappeared. He can find no records to account for it. It may, of course, have just been frittered away in waste but I have a terrible suspicion that it may have disappeared into the pockets of some politicians or some civil servants. Something will have to be done about the constant misuse of public funds. While we are at it we should, I think, be also concerned about certain things in the private sector. I would like to ask Mr. Patrick Rousseau, the chairman of the Cement Company, about three things, which I simply don't understand.

The first concerns the payment by the Cement Company of $75m to lease a piece of land they've never used. The second is to ask him how it came about that the company paid a huge sum to the law firm in which he is a partner for legal work on a planned equity issue and an ESOP scheme neither of which ever materialised. I would have thought that a legal fee of this size could only come about if someone bought the entire town of Montego Bay. Lastly, I still want to know how it came about that a company that had a monopoly and a captive market could possibly have lost such huge sums of money.

No doubt Mr. Rousseau will consider that I am not entitled to any explanation. But the shareholders of the company certainly are.