Morris Cargill

A BIG FUSS is now going on about the fact that C&W has a system whereby anyone can dial a number and find out not only what he owes on his telephone bill, but what everyone else owes too.

People are saying that this amounts to an invasion of privacy, which I suppose it is. But it may not be a bad thing. For instance, The Gleaner has found out in this way that the Ministry of National Security and Justice has an unpaid bill amounting to $1,235,816.54, which is a damn disgrace. The upholders of law and order really shouldn't be a bunch of bad pays. The Gleaner also found out that Gordon House, the home of our not so upright legislators, owes over $28,000 and the Jamaica Tourist Board owes $55,000. As a matter of fact, we ought now to go about finding the telephone indebtedness of every Government Ministry and for that matter, every Government Minister.

Every Ministry and Minister with a large overdue bill should have their phones cut off. These top people who are always preaching to us about morality and integrity should not be allowed to get away without paying their utility bills. It would be nice also to know what these Ministries and Government departments owe for electricity and water. It is time that they started to set a decent example.

For the above reasons, I'm all for a bit of invasion of privacy. Rather than call it an invasion of privacy, I would prefer to call it an exposure of the skeletons in the cupboards of these public institutions.

The release of Zekes

It was interesting to read that Donald Phipps, the Matthews Lane don known as Zekes, was released for lack of evidence against him. I can't help feeling that this lack of evidence was, shall we say, welcomed by the authorities for there would probably have been some nasty scenes had he been found guilty.

This whole business of our dons is a good demonstration of the Robin Hood syndrome. All those years ago in England, Robin Hood was a folk hero. He was, of course, a first class scoundrel, but he had the sense to realise, just as our dons realise, that if he gave part of his ill-gotten gains to the poor they'd always protect him. Robin was a constant headache to the sheriff of Nottingham just as our dons are to our Jamaican equivalents.

There is, of course, a big difference. Robin had only bows and arrows while our modern Robin Hoods have a large selection of high-powered firearms. Robin had Sherwood Forest to hide him. Our dons have a different sort of jungle.

Information needed

Some time after Century National Bank was taken over it was disclosed that large amounts of money were owed to it by sundry politicians. Eddie Seaga owed money on two accounts, one of which, you'll remember, he conveniently forgot about. It was also disclosed that a number of PNP Ministers owed considerable amounts of money too, some of which had been guaranteed by Frank Pringle, a matter that I found rather amusing.

Since then we have heard nothing more about these debts. Were they ever paid? I rather suspect that they were not and that these politicians were bailed out in the end by FINSAC. Indeed, I have always suspected that it was never intended that these 'loans' should ever be repaid, for the good Mr. Crawford always knew on which side his bread was buttered.

However, I would now like to ask FINSAC to update us on the fate of these loans. I don't suppose, however, I shall ever be able to get the information. I'm sure that FINSAC also knows on which side its bread is buttered.

Trees

Every time Labour Day comes around we hear much news about the hundreds or even thousands of trees that are planted on that day.

I suspect, however, that practically nobody ever cares them or waters them and that they all die within a year. My poodle, Peanuts, takes a dim view of this for he is even more concerned about the importance of trees than I am.

Every Labour Day that comes around sundry enthusiasts not only plant trees but paint up and clean up a lot of places. It would be interesting to know for how long thereafter these places remain clean and painted. I fear that Labour Day is more an occasion for fine sentiments than for effective action.

A compliment

I feel that I must not end this column without mentioning a delightfully amusing article in the Gleaner of Saturday, March 6.

Under the heading "Lara": a four-letter word for what?" It was written by Tony Deyal who demonstrated an adroitness and wit which, alas, are not very prevalent in Jamaica today. I look forward to further contributions from him.

Correction

A correspondent recently wrote to The Gleaner saying that the motto of Jamaica College was in French. I mentioned this in my column and now I've had a letter from Mr. Omar Delfusse of Kingston 10, to say that the Gleaner correspondent was wrong and that the motto of Jamaica College is in fact in Latin.