THE OTHER night, before going to sleep, I got to thinking about the strange views that so many people have about Y2K and the odd beliefs of many religious bodies concerning the apocalypse.

It is not surprising that I had a strange dream. I dreamt that Jesus had suddenly arrived in Jamaica and, as one would expect, he was being interviewed on the radio programme The Breakfast Club.

"Could you tell us, Jesus, the complete facts concerning your birth, as you most have been told all about it by your mother."

"Yes indeed," Jesus replied, "there have been a lot of misconceptions about that, but before I can give you the full facts I will have to get an indemnity from my Father."

"Well then, Jesus, could you give us the inside story about your crucifixion?"

"Yes, indeed. We were all plotting in secret against the Roman occupation. The security forces arrested poor Judas and he made a plea-bargain with them to save his skin by giving them my name. You must understand, of course, that Roman crucifixions were not a form of execution. They were simply a punishment and most people survived them. So did I, but I was badly injured. Fortunately, my girlfriend Mary Magdalene looked after me for three days until I was well enough to be moved. Later, I made it quite plain to my disciples that I had survived by appearing before them and identified myself by showing them the nail holes in my hands."

"Then why," asked the interviewer, "was it generally put around that you had risen from the dead"?

"Oh, that was just a bit of primitive stuff which my disciples did not contradict because it was very useful to our cause."

"Then what happened to you after that?"

"Well the truth is," said Jesus, "The Romans had been putting a lot of heat on me, so I thought that it was wise to leave the country. I might add at this point that my decision had something to do with a discussion that I had previously had on the Mount with the devil."

"What was that?" asked the interviewer.

Miracles

"Contrary to the view which a sect called "Christians" has been expressing, the devil was quite an amiable and intelligent fellow. You must remember that his proper name was Lucifer and he was an ex-angel who got demoted for being too self-opinionated. On the Mount, we were discussing a number of philosophical matters and the devil was complimenting me upon my capacity for avoiding temptations. But he warned against one temptation that I might not be able to resist, which was the temptation to martyrdom. So when I saw that a lot of people wanted to make me into a martyr who died for their sins, I decided to hop it."

"Perhaps at this point, Jesus, you could tell us something about your miracles, such as one about feeding a multitude."

"Well the truth of that one is that my disciples and I had been doing some fishing and we had sat down by the roadside to cook the dozen or so fish we had caught. As we were eating them, some rather poor people passed by, so we shared our meal with them. At that point, a reporter from one of our sensational tabloids came by and, before we knew it, he had blown the whole thing up by a report that I had been feeding thousands. You must remember that the tabloids in my day were just as bad as they are today. The Jerusalem yellow press lived on sensations and lies."

"Well thank you very much Jesus. Our time is up now, but one last question. What are you going to do now, are you going to tell the churches the truth about their misconceptions?"

"Certainly not," Jesus replied. "Having been crucified once I have no intention of being crucified a second time. In fact, I am retiring from religion altogether. I'm going to change my name and earn my living in the field of alternative medicine. I am pretty good at suggesting people into feeling better. I thank you Sir and Madam for the courtesy you have shown me."

At that point I awakened, and decided that I would risk what remained of my reputation by passing my dream on to you.

The grey economy

You can call it what you like: the grey dollar or the informal economy. I have no means of measuring its extent and as far as I can see, nobody else has the means of doing so either.

To try to estimate the size of the informal economy is like trying to fly a jet aircraft by the seat of one's pants. My eyes, combined with anecdotal evidence, lead me to believe that it is a good deal more extensive than some think it is.

Every time some business or Government department down-sizes, the people that get laid off seem to contrive some means of earning their living.

For instance, at one time, taxis were pretty shabby beat-out vehicles, I now notice that our taxis are mostly smart modern Japanese vehicles driven on the whole by well-spoken and educated people, and there are a lot of them.

This seems to indicate that a number of those who lost their jobs have gone into the taxi business with their own cars. But apart from that, there has been a great increase in very small businesses.

Even more significant are the wholesale and retail sales which, in the circumstances, would have been expected to decline. They have, in fact, quite considerably increased which means that there is a good deal of healthy spending power out there somewhere.

In a sense this is a good news, for it means that people are showing a great deal of resilience and enterprise. On the other hand, as one must assume that these new businesses are paying no taxes, it means that the weight of taxation is falling more upon the small number of remaining official enterprises.

It is easy to say that the Government should take steps to learn the extent of the grey economy, but how they are to do this, I don't know?

One way of coping with the situation might be to alter our taxation from its emphasis on income tax to an increase in GCT. I know of course that the informal businesses will not collect GCT in any direct way. But they will have to pay it when they buy goods and services they need.

Incidentally, the collection of GCT should be tightened up. I find it most peculiar to read that some businesses owe millions of dollars. Why is this permitted? I should have thought that the moment a business is in default, the tax collector should descend upon it.

Many businesses are obviously using their GCT collections to finance themselves. This is a throughly dishonest practice and the GCT collectors should come down upon them like a ton of bricks.

End piece

Every economist urges the Government to go for growth. Few, however, are prepared to raise their voices against the Government's vast local borrowings which, by depleting capital for development, makes growth impossible.

(Taken from the Sunday Gleaner.