THE GOVERNOR-GENERAL, some time ago, promoted the Prime Minister to the status of prophet. He's now promoted the leader of the Opposition to the status of patriot.

The Governor-General's recent speech concerning Eddie Seaga has been criticised by some as improper. Strictly speaking, it might well be, but for my part, I consider it to be the utterance of a decent and kindly man who feels that the attacks upon Mr. Seaga have gone too far, and that enough is enough.

I first met the Governor-General many years ago when we were both members of the Federal Parliament, though on opposite sides. I knew him then, as I know him now, to be a man who always deplored injustice and unkindness. Although Mr. Seaga is not a member of the party to which the Governor-General has always belonged, he is typically running the risk of criticism for his courageous championship of the decent values in which he has long believed.

His description of Mr. Seaga as a patriot may be open to some doubt if one considers Dr. Johnson's definition of patriotism. Nevertheless, for 40 years Mr. Seaga has been in public life with a steadiness and single-mindedness which, in spite of many flaws, can only be regarded as creditable.

And we must never forget that his resolution and steadiness saved us in 1980 from the dreadfulness and ruin of what was so absurdly and dangerously called Democratic Socialism. I myself have recently been among the Seaga baiters, but I intend now, wherever possible, to abide by the Governor-General's kindly advice.

Problem

Mr. Seaga undoubtedly has a problem. We do not know the extent of his indebtedness to FINSAC, but it must certainly run into millions which he cannot repay. I gather that the Prime Minister, though not the Governor-General, has instructed FINSAC not to put him into bankruptcy for the simple reason that the Prime Minister regards Mr. Seaga as a political asset to the PNP and wishes to keep him on the deep freeze for the next election, so that the PNP can have him for dinner.

The Prime Minister may just be wrong. I think that Mr. Seaga has been sticking in there with his well known stubbornness in the belief that if he can stay there long enough, the electorate, fed up with the present Government mismanagement, will decide to return him and the JLP to power. He may well be right.

After all, our Jamaican democracy has always depended upon a choice of two evils. In any case, the Governor-General has set a good example to his great credit. This is that contending political factions should learn to extend to each other a decent civility.

On drugs

Last week I had a long conversation with John Pringle on the telephone from London. He tells me that addiction to cocaine among young people is giving the British authorities a great deal of worry.

He went on to say, as indeed I've been saying for a long time, that the trade in drugs will never be suppressed nor even properly controlled as long as the prices remain high and the traders and suppliers make a lot of money.

He gives his opinion that all drugs, even the hard drugs, should be decriminalised and that Governments should get into the selling of drugs by setting up special drug bureaus all over the place in which drugs would be available at very cheap prices. He goes on to say that these bureaus, in spite of the very cheap prices, would make considerable profits which could then be used to set up properly managed rehabilitation centres for the proper treatment of all addicts. He emphasises once again that once you could take the large profits out of drug dealing, you would be halfway to licking the problem.

I entirely agree with him. For instance, we read in Jamaica at frequent intervals that our security forces have been destroying acres of ganja plants. All that this does is to increase the prices and the profits of the ganja dealers.

Ganja, of course, is in a class by itself. The real danger to people comes from the use of cocaine and heroin, though fortunately, heroin is not yet a problem in Jamaica. But our present real problem is not ganja, but cocaine. This is traded at a very high price, which means that it is an especially attractive operation for smugglers and gangsters.

That dream again

Since my cynical little joke about Jesus having been interviewed on the "Breakfast Club" a number of earnest Christians have written me indignant letters. But one or two, in spite of their indignation, have been charming letters. One of these is from Robert E. Levy of Jamaica Broilers, for which I thank him.

However, I'm not going to get into an argument with any of them. Only serious subjects such as religion and sex are worth joking about. Though even in the case of religion, I don't think jokes about those rich and fraudulent televangelists are worth making, for they are already sick jokes on their own account.

Nor do I think that beauty contests are worth making jokes about. People in Jamaica are constantly getting riled up about the colour of our beauty contest winners. In my long and misspent life, I have always found that all the charming ladies with whom I have been fortunate enough to establish a rewarding relationship have all been the same colour in the dark.

As to sex, I notice that in Jamaica our whorehouses are now calling themselves massage parlours. I see them constantly advertising in the Observer, though much less so, I am glad to say, in The Gleaner.

Sex seems to be going up-market and I have no doubt that the cost is increasing accordingly. I wonder if its cost is included in the "basket" which the authorities use to calculate inflation.

I find this rather annoying. Just recently my doctor said that I should have some massage for my lameness. I told her that she would have to find a suitable masseuse for me as I had no intention of becoming enmeshed in massage parlours.

I'm glad to say that she found me a most competent physiotherapist which has protected me against any embarrassment. God knows I have been wayward, but I have always been repelled by the idea of professional sex. I am even keeping a sharp eye on the computer I have recently acquired.

(Taken from the Sunday Gleaner.