'Unfriendly' parents in Jamaica -- researcher

JAMAICANS HAVE a somewhat unfriendly approach to parenting that has lead to an absence of dialogue, trust and respect between themselves and their children, reports researcher Heather Ricketts in a study done last year and prepared for the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF).

"There is a tendency in parents to view themselves as authority figures far removed from children. By extension, therefore, they tend to approach parenting this way -- not entirely friendly," she stated in her report "An Assessment and Analysis of Parenting in Jamaica".

The report attributed this lack of communication to parents being handicapped by cultural practices which sometimes limited their ability to have discussions with their child which in turn lead to social problems such as teenage pregnancy.

"Some of the factors central to the problem of teenage pregnancy are the lack of balanced communication between teenagers and parents, an unwillingness to engage in discussions with children, lack of information by parents and a lack of understanding of adolescent behaviour."

Ms. Ricketts pointed out that even when there was parent/child communication, the communication generally, "discouraged the development of self-esteem and self regard".

She said many children's sole form of communication with parents was to be "bawled out in public, shamed or embarrassed" because of accusations which were sometimes baseless.

This way of communicating with children, she explained, had an impact on the way they learnt their society's rules.

The report recommended parents should try to change the way they interact with their children and should try the following to foster better relationships with their children:

1) Listen more.

2) Allow children, especially teenagers, to decide some things for themselves.

3) Be more understanding and learn how your children react in different situations.

4) You should discuss rather than punish children when they make unexpected responses or ask unexpected questions.

5) Be more willing to explain your decisions to your children. Your explanation should be more than "yes" or "no".

6) Be educated and counselled especially about teenage problems and how they are managed.

7) Do not be permissive of undesirable activities and inconsistent in your restrictions.

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