Jennifer Keane-Dawes, Contributor
DAS CHILDREN, especially when dem lilly, nuh response fe nutten. But, if de truth were to be told, a nuh every pickney pretty. Nuh matter how smady tek fawty poun a ribbon mek bow pon de head top. Or how much long pants put on pon dem wid bow tie. A lie? Suh dat being de case, why nuff foreign people insist fe kin teet wid de pickney parents an tell lie how him cute? Yu get me? Why dem won't dis talk dem talk wid de parents. Maybe ask weh de baby name or seh "what a pretty little frack". An den keep on going?
Missis ma, de other day me go inna dis store an see dis lady up an dung wid a baby. Me look pon de baby an look off cause what me behold wasn't fe me bisniss. An since me neva out fe think nuh thoughts fe mek Massa Gad sin me, me walk off. Anyway, up come dis ooman, outta nowhere "Oh! What a cutie! She is a doll! Hi sweetie!" Suh me spin roun. An there was de ooman, inna one piece a excitement a haul dung bib an blanket pon de pickney inna de stroller.
Well, me lef. An when me reach home me seh to meself seh if a one ting wid nuff a we a yard, when it come on to certain things like dat, there is no go roun come roun. Case in point. Taxi drop Jean a gate cause she dis get discharge from dung a Jubilee Hospital. Everybaddy flock dung now fe see de infant well wrap up inna de pink blanket.
Pooncie: "Oonoo move from deh an nuh badda go blow dung oonoo crasses breath inna de ooman pickney face. Walk ya suh Jean mek me see weh she look like." Suh Pooncie ease weh de blanket an see dis lilly squinge up sinting. "Him nuh look too bad. But g'im couple more day. A hope him pick up."
Suh, de baby start grow an one evening, Jean decide fe push har inna stroller fe go get little breeze out. Vera buck har up outta road.
Vera: "A weh yu get dis ya ugly pickney fram Jean? Massy Gad! A fe yu? A muss joke y'a run. A weh yu get him fram?"
Pooncie chime een same time while Jean tan up backa de stroller like security guard. Can neither seben nor eleben. Suh hear Pooncie:"An me did swear seh she did a go pick up yu nuh, but all now, notta little changes. Come ya. Oonoo look pon da forehead ya. Oonoo nuh si seh sinting wrang?"
Donald: "Nutten nuh wrang man. A one smady deh pon de road wid dis ya forehead. An a Ivan. But wait. Me rahtid. Tiddeh nuh Father's Day?" Jean mout under lock an key same time. Like smady veranda grill. While har two yeye fasten straight back a yard pon Brown machete a de ackee tree root. Suppose a argiment lacka dis ever reach him aise?"
Suh Donald buss outta laugh: "Seh suppen nuh Jean? Nuh birthmark?"
Pooncie: "Jean y'a go haffi tek special care a da pickney ya. Bwile de cornmeal porridge good, yu hear? An feed har wid it. An yu see all dem part a har head weh de hair nuh waan tek root? Dis spin it roun betwween de comb teet, But nuh do it too tight cause de skull still saff. But yu do as me seh yu hear? Cause weh nuh dead, nuh cally duppy.
Vera: "An yu know, as simple as yu tek it, da pickney ya can grow it out an grow fava smady? Cause yu nuh see Inez big gal how she look now? Gad haf grace dat was a hugly pickney when him did bawn yu nuh!
Pooncie: Nuh badda talk! An when yu see Inez she use to ready fe go tep wid dat deh puss meow pickney, notta common fowl pon hot rice!"
All dis while poor Jean tan up same place. Like dem smady weh really couldn't tell yu what a clack dis strike.
Happy Father's Day to Jerry an all fathers!
Tek Care!
Dr. Jennifer Keane-Dawes is a communications professor and a talk show host in the University of North Carolina system.
