Jennifer Keane-Dawes, Contributor
WELL, it turn out dat de little bwoy decide fe fine de matches an play lightening. Til, a sight smady sight de smoke a come through de windah an realise, to neck back, seh de house a bun dung!
"Granny! Weh granny? Lawd a gad! A wander if granny een deh? Grannieeee! Anybaddy see granny?" de smady holler. Well, people come, fly inside an save de lilly bwoy. An even after fireman come an hose weh fe hose.
But still a look good fe mek sure granny neva well tun breadfruit inna de ashes. All dis while Granny well siddung off pon smady verandah a gi laugh fe peas soup an nuh know whata matches dis strike. Well, a long after fire truck drive weh.
An everybaddy still amaze how is a gad good ting seh a neva night. Das dem sight Granny a drag shoes from up de road a come. Well, a after she come buck up pon de huppen, huppen lan space. No house. An de heap a muddy water a block har pon all side, a dat time now she a go fling har two han pon har head an holler if nubaddy couldn't come call har.
But call him fe do wah? Fe come run in front a government hose an mek water pressure lick him dung? An in any case, which part she did deh when everybaddy a bawl out har name like dem out fe charge fe murder?
Missis, when me hear de news, me really sarry how de house bun dung. But me glad seh nuh life neva lost. But me also seh to meself seh a de same chatty mout bisniss cause nuff tings fe bun up a yard pon a very regular basis. Like rice.
Missis ma, yu tink a lilly bit a time when me a pickney das smady rice bun pon fire till smady else, way up a corner shop, haffi ask a who fa rice a bun so? So, far example, Miss Queenie, who coulda win each an ebry competition fe bun rice, gi out:
"Bwoy oonoo nose good eeh? A how oonoo tan way up ya suh an smell pat?" Suh since a couldn't fe har weh de water did dry out from before she did tep through de gate.
She continue fe fass inna smady bisniss wid one han a kimbo an de next one wid de tin a fresh herring a grin through de scandal bag. Well, a when she finally reach dung a yard an buck de hataclaps inna de kitchen, das she fuss bex, an holler if smady couldn't come call har. Yu get me?
Suh a de same style nuff other people kip up. Dem put de lilly piece a liver pon fire. An come talk bout dem a run go someweh. Liver an cow foot tek de same amount a time fe cook? Not fe mention de pig trattaz weh start hitch cause dem determine fe kibba it dung an lefy wid de lilly drap a buy water. An when dem nuh waan lefy wid de lilly water. Dem drown it. Suh if a fish dem a steam, it wi hab enough water fe swim till dem come back.
But, my dear lady, while dem deh kine a bunning neva really cause life, dem used to cause man fe fine nedda ooman under de quiet. Cause while Miss Queenie fly dung a yard. An bizzy bizzy now a skim off de top part a de bun rice. Fe prims it up wid de herring, fe Ivan.
Judas Poonice well full him belly long-time wid rice an peas an pork. Tomatis, carrot an lettuce. Plus two slice a yellow yam inna flowers plate weh a go wash an put back careful inna de breakfront. An if anybaddy call har right now, she couldn't come deh now.
Cause she inna kitchen a beat up stout an egg an milk cause him wuk hard. Suh weh poor Ivan fe do? When him complain to Pooncie seh a nuh lilly bit a suffer him suffer wid Queenie who chat till de water dry out.
An lef de million an one bwile dumpling bungle up an fasten dung inna de pot bottom like Jabes heap a teet.
Tek care!
Dr. Jennifer Keane-Dawes is a communications professor and a radio talk show host in the University of North Carolina system.
