Dear Pastor,
I am in deep waters. I need help.
I have three children, but I met misfortune with their father so we split up. I tried to raise my children as a single mother. I did all types of work - factory, domestic etc. I am very sickly and sometimes I get sick on the job. One of my children is attending a high school, and the little pay I earn can hardly buy food, pay school fee, give them lunch money, buy uniform, books etc.
I am very stressed out. Sometimes my head hurts a lot. I cannot sleep at nights. While I was working at a site I met a man who told me he was going to help me with one of the children. He also met misfortune with a woman, so whenever there was a problem we were there for each other.
He works out so sometimes he asked me to wash his clothes and even cook for him. We became intimate friends. I tried family planning more than once, and it always made me sick, so I told him to use a condom and he did. After a while he didn't want to use it, and because of that I am now pregnant.
I was living in a rented house and I got notice. My children are living in separate places. So I went to his place to live. I was very ill and even now I am still taking doctor's treatment. The problem is he started to treat me badly. I am now eight months pregnant. He doesn't give me money every week, and when he does he borrows back half of it. And the rest I use to buy food etc.
Every girl he sees on the street, he lusts after her. When I was six months pregnant he gave me gonorrhoea and I had to seek medical attention. I am very worried that it may affect the baby. I don't trust him. Every time we have an argument he said I should go. Right now I have nowhere to go. I cannot afford to pay rent now because I am not working, but as soon as I have the baby, I will seek a job.
I would like to give up the baby for adoption, so please help me to find someone who needs a baby to adopt. I am confused and worried. Now I see why some people commit suicide. My mother passed on. I need someone to talk to. I am asking you to pray for me.
Initials Withheld by request, St. Andrew
Dear...,
Now that you are unable to work and this man has to meet all the bills, he is treating you badly. That is really unfortunate. Now is not the time for him to tell you to go.
You are ill, so you are not able to have sexual intercourse with him as often as before and perhaps the way you used to do it with him. You cannot excite him anymore at the moment. So he feels that it is a big waste of time to have you in his house. Somebody should talk to him. I wouldn't be surprised if after you have your baby and you have become well, to hear that this man has changed and wants you to stay.
You should not be having anymore children. Right now your children are scattered. They need you. But you are not in a position to have them living with you. I hope you would consider doing a tubal ligation operation after you have given birth. If this man is not willing to support his child, then you should definitely give him or her up for adoption, but please discuss this with him. If you are giving up the child for adoption, do not make any private arrangement with anybody. Please contact the Adoption Board and discuss the matter with them. Their numbers are listed. Pastor.
