Dear Pastor,
I am in my late teens and I am having a serious problem with my boyfriend. He is five years older than I. We have a child together, and we are also living at his parents home. Many times in the middle of the night he wakes me up and wants to have sex with me. Whenever I tell him no, it is war.
A few weeks ago we had sexual intercourse. When we were finished he looked at me and told me that I have another man having sex with me. That is a lie. He told me that my vagina is loose and there is no tightness at all. From he told me that it is like all the love I have for him disappeared. He is now asking me to forgive him. I have forgiven him, but I can't forget what he said to me.
I told him that I want to leave. His parents refused to admit that he was wrong to tell me those words. They cursed me and said that he made a simple mistake. I do not see it that way. Right now I feel like leaving him. His parents do not allow their children to deal with their problems. I told them that I have a mother too. My mother gave me her advice. I am asking you for your fatherly advice. ...St. Catherine
Dear ...,
Your boyfriend was wrong to accuse you of having sex with another man. He has absolutely no proof and his suspicion is baseless. Silly men talk that way all the time.
Your boyfriend spoke out of ignorance; therefore, I suggest that you forgive him. I know you will not forget what he said and I know you felt hurt. But accept his apology.
I do not know how his parents got involved in this very private matter between your boyfriend and you. Am I to understand that everything that happens between you and your boyfriend, his parents have to know? Sex is a very private matter. Did you discuss what he said to you with them?
It would seem to me that if this man loves you he should marry you and move you out of his parents house. Couples who live with in-laws who meddle in their affairs are not generally happy couples. Whether you stay or leave is a decision you must make on your own.
Pastor
Going crazy over 14-y-o girl
Dear Pastor,
I am writing because I respect your opinion and straightforward advice. I am 28 years old and in love with a 14- year-old girl who lives in St. Catherine. She attends a high school. She is of a brown complexion. I know everything about her because I have been questioning a friend of hers.
The first time I saw her she was getting off a bus at Riverton City, and I was admiring her sexy walk. At that time she was wearing a blue jeans and a white tee shirt. She crossed the road and greeted someone and was smiling. Just seeing her smile made me have an erection.
I saw her again in Linstead in a shorts and as I was approaching her, the driver of a bus called her. I am so much in love with this girl that I am going crazy. I see her in my dream and sometimes I call her name. I have never spoken to her, but I know I will very soon. Whenever I am feeling horny I think about her and masturbate.
Her friend told me that she does not keep boyfriends which gives me the impression that she is a virgin. I want her so much that I cannot even eat.
..., St. Catherine
Dear ...,
You need psychological help. You are a sick man, and if you do not get help you may rape women and end up in prison.
This young girl is only fourteen years old. She cannot consent to having sex. You are grown a man. So if you believe that you can meet with her and force her to have sex with you, you will be charged for carnal abuse.
You have a warped mind. You have described this girl in detail, but I will not publish such information. Your mind is filthy. Seek help before it is too late.
Pastor
Problems getting pregnant
Dear Pastor,
I do hope you can help me. I am in my late thirties and when I was about twenty I became pregnant. I went to the doctor and he aborted it. I was very painful. I bled for about one week.
A year after, I went to live with the guy who got me pregnant. He did not believe that he had gotten me pregnant. We were living together for 18 years and I never used the family planning, and he had never used the condom. I took his sperm to the doctor to be tested and the doctor said that his sperm count was low. He refused to go and get some help, so the relationship between us ended.
About three years ago I met another man, and we have been having sex and I cannot get pregnant. My previous boyfriend did not have children, but my present boyfriend has kids. We only have sex once per week because we are not living together. The doctor did some test on me and everything is alright with me, but I just cannot get pregnant.
I do not know what is wrong with me. I have done x-rays, three of them to be exact. I have never enjoyed sex, but I have not told my boyfriend that.
C., Kingston
Dear C.,
You are anxious to get pregnant now. I am sorry to tell you that I really cannot help you, except for praying for you. I could give you the name of a gynaecologist, but I am not sure that that would help because you have done many tests.
It would seem to me that if the man with whom you are presently having a relationship really loves you, he should marry you whether or not you are able to have a child.
I would suggest that you consider adopting a child. I know you want to be able to say that you have given birth, but you don't have to give birth or to be a biological mother to be a mother. I hope you wont be tempted to go from man to man in an effort to see who can get you pregnant. That would be a very unwise thing to do. Pastor
