Jennifer Keane-Dawes, Contributor
ME DEAR mam, me nuh know if me wrang. Suh if me wrang, tell mi. But me have a little question fe put to yu. Anyting wrong wid Missa P.J.? Missis, me buck up one a him photograph inna foreign Gleaner de other day, an when me look pon it, me frighten fe see how it look to me like him a fret.
Suh me seh to meself seh no man. Weh deh fe him fret pon? Cause fram a man hab good bed fe sleep inna. Food fe eat. Soap fe wash him clothes. Two knee fe go dung pon fe seh praise gad. Smady fe call case a sickness, den weh deh fe him fret pon? Well, between me an yu, me really hope him nuh siddung a yard deh an cause nutten fe mek fretration draw him dung to nutten.
Missis ma, when me did lilly an use to g'a country go spen time wid me granny. Me neva yet one day hear har complain or fret. Instead, every time crasses come dung pon har, she used to plea dung de blood a Massa Gad.
Mark yu, by de time de crasses come dung an she a walk from outta door fe go inna de room go kneel dung, anyone a we weh did outta door, did haffi mek sure an move outta de way. Cause yu nuh know? Lick is not a ting weh creep or walk. Is a sudden sinting weh fly. But my dear lady, yu see when we bungle up outta hall an begin fe listen to har a argue wid Massa Gad like him siddung in deh pon da bed? A she dat.
"Pupa Jeezas, a me Indiana Reid. Memba me, yu pickney. An memba yu promas inna second Corinthians Chapter 12 an 9. Yu promas me seh yu grace is sufficient. An a yu grace das mek me lib fe see me gran pickney dem roun me.
Suh right now Pupa Jeezas, a de said grace me a depend pon now cause seet? Me put de two breadfruit a fire. Pupa Jeezas, yu know me heart an yu know me tawt. Yu know seh me did dis waan me gran pickney dem feel good when dem come. Das why me tell Celes an Jerry seh nuh bring nuh food inna me house.
But Lamb of Gad, de breadfruit a fire but me nuh ha nuh meat kine. But me know yu grace a go full we belly tinite. Suh Pupa Jeezas, hear me prayaz an me a go wait pon yu fe de answer."
An my dear lady wid dat, she go tun de breadfruit. An believe you me, before de breadfruit roast done, we hear a voice a shout all de way from dung a gully a come:
"Oie Miss Indieee! Miss Indieee! Yu up a yard?" Mammie: "A who dat? Mass Joe? A weh y'a go now? Yu nuh si rain a black up?" Same time Mass Joe step up pon de piece a brick weh mek de bottom step.
Lean pon de drum pan weh set under de zinc fe ketch rain water. An han har a deep dish cover ova. An by de time she tek it, him reach fe de bunch a banana pon him head. An de flour bag wid something das smady tek mek nest pon top a de bunch a banana.
"A some cow nose an broad bean Miss Crishie ask me fe bring fe yu. An Miss Poochie sen de corn pork. An me seh since me a come, might as cheap me cut da bunch a banana ya an walk widy." Massy!
Suh yu see why all now me fraid when me memba how me granny always warn me seh if me nuh believe God, me a go bun up inna hell fire? Although she same one come back wid a wud fe seh de condition weh some people put demself inna, not even Massa Gad can help dem. Suh my dear lady, as me seh, me nuh know if Missa P.J. a fret. But if dat be de case, a hope him put him condition to Massa Gad an mek Him try de case. Tek care!
Dr. Jennifer Keane-Dawes is a communications professor and a talk show host in the University of North Carolina system.
