Dear Pastor,
I am married for about 12 years. My husband and I have three children, two boys and one girl. We had a good marriage until my husband got involved with my neighbour who was my best friend. She used to go out with us anywhere we were going. And sometimes she used to beg him to do favours for her. I have a green card, so I used to go away and she stayed with the children.
My older son is very smart and one day he told me he saw his daddy kissing my friend. I did not think of anything because we are all good friends. Then to my surprise, my husband told me that my friend is pregnant and he is responsible for her "belly". I asked him what he meant by that and he didn't answer. I was shocked.
He told her that he told me, so she moved from the area. I couldn't get to talk to her, but my husband started to come home late every night and I knew he was with her where she was living. I moved out of the bedroom and started to sleep with my daughter. I lost all feelings for him. I was a fat woman. I took off 30 pounds. I went back to America because I couldn't deal with what happened.
My husband got a helper to live and he started to have an affair with the helper. When I heard about it, I came home and asked her to leave. My husband and I had a big fight and he moved out and went to stay with my friend who by that time had the baby. He used to come and visit the children. And I must give him what is due to him. He always supported them.
The other day he told me that he wants to come back home. I don't know what to do. Since this thing happened I never got involved with another man. But I am not sure that he will leave his baby mother totally. Please help me to make up my mind.
O., St. Catherine
Dear O,
Forgive your husband and welcome him home with open arms. He made a big mistake, but you were somewhat careless with him.
Don't accept what I am saying as if I am blaming you, I am not. I am only saying that you were a little careless. You put butter into this man's mouth and you shouldn't have done that.
You shouldn't have left this single woman with your children and your husband. And when your child told you that he saw them kissing, you shouldn't have taken that lightly. You should have known that your little child was smart enough to know an ordinary kiss from a loving and passionate kiss.
Put that behind you. The man wants to come home. He has realized that he made a big mistake.
There is a place for forgiveness and if he would agree to go for counselling and would end the relationship with the other woman, take him back.
Pastor
Hurt as boyfriend gets best friend pregnant
Dear Pastor,
I was in-volved with a guy from I was 13 years old and I am now 18. He asked me to have sex with him. He took my virginity. I told him it was not the first time I was having sex, which was a lie. I do not regret it because I love him very much.
He broke my heart by getting my best friend pregnant. It was very shocking when I heard the news. He used to come and visit me, but now he has stopped.
My friend stopped talking to me and could not face me. I blame my boyfriend because he did not consider me. He has a baby mother and he informed me, but he did not say whether he was living with her or not.
We stopped seeing each other but every Sunday I see him and we talk for a little while. He asked me what he can do to make me love him again.
I met another guy six months after my boyfriend and I broke up. We started to go out and we have become close. I am getting to like this guy, but I am also in love with my ex-boyfriend. I don't know what to do. I am confused and down.
Please give me your fatherly advice.
D.P., St. Catherine
Dear D.P.,
This guy who got your best friend pregnant now has two baby mothers. If you renew the intimate relationship with him, you may be-come his thi-rd baby mot-her. It is evident that this guy is not serious about anybody. He is fooling around.
If you are not serious about life, you may give him the green light again. But if you are serious about life, you would stop talking to him and giving him the impression that there is hope for both of you to get back together. He cannot be trusted. He is a terrible liar.
Right now you need to give yourself time. You are young, but don't believe that you have to have a man by your side all the time.
Sometimes things do not go right and it may take a while for wounds to be healed, or for you to overcome a broken relationship.
The young man that you are presently talking to should remain your friend, but don't get carried away with him. Again I say, give yourself time and ask God to help you make the right decision.
Pastor
