With Rev. Stephen-Claude Hyatt
I AM a third form student at a prominent high school and I have a serious problem.
I have been involved with my boyfriend for about two years now. During the summer of 2000 we began having sex. The problem is that I have missed my period, and I think I am pregnant. I really do not know what to do.
- RG
Dear RG,
There are several concerns I have regarding your situation. Firstly, is your boyfriend a schoolboy or an adult? Secondly, is he the only person you have been sexually active with? Thirdly, are you the only person he has been sexually active with?
The first thing you need to do is to go to a doctor to find out whether you are pregnant. If you are pregnant, you need to find a way to tell your parents, or discuss it with a family friend who could be there with you when you tell them. In addition, I would suggest, whether or not you are pregnant, that you go and have some tests done. If you think that you are pregnant, then you must have been having sex without the use of a condom. This means that you are at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, even AIDS.
You will also need to sit and talk with a counsellor. I would advise that you speak with your Guidance Counsellor about the situation, or maybe your Minister. Situations like these are best addressed when you are able to sit and talk with someone. If there is no such person, feel free to contact me at Jamaica College.
I do hope you are not pregnant.
-Counsellor
Boy likes older men
I am having a serious and complicated problem. I am a 17-year-old student who is attending an all-boys school. For about two years now I have been craving the attention of older men. I love to be around them, and I enjoy having them talking to me and hugging me. I am a little confused, as I am wondering if I may be gay or something.
I have not said this to anyone, as I am afraid of being ridiculed or even beaten. I am not sexually aroused by these men, and have no intention of having sexual relations with them. I am a Christian, and I often wonder if I am sinning by wanting to be in their presence. I do not think I can talk to my pastor about it, as he has always preached negatively about this type of thing.
Counsellor, I am very confused, and need your help.
- MM, Kingston
Dear MM,
It is very disheartening that you do not feel comfortable enough to speak with your pastor about your problem. Let me say that I think I understand what you are going through. I am guessing from the start that either you do not know your father, or you do not have a great relationship with him.
What I think you are searching for is a father figure, which would explain why you are attracted to older men. This is not uncommon, as boys who do not have positive male role models in their lives tend to gravitate towards an alternate father figure. It is great to know that you are not having any sexual feelings towards these men, which strengthens my point even more that you are looking for a father figure. However, should you begin to have sexual feelings, ensure that you find a counsellor to talk to about those feelings.
You, however, have to be extremely careful, as these needs which you have, can be misunderstood by several individuals who will be too happy to convert you to their homosexual ways. Be careful who you are seeking attention from, and ensure that this individual is someone you can trust. I would suggest that you try to make it someone in your family, maybe an uncle or older cousin, ensuring that you discuss with them your needs. I would also suggest that you speak with your Guidance Counsellor.
However, be assured that having these feelings do not necessarily mean that you are homosexual.
-Counsellor
Please write to the counsellor with your questions at:
Dear Counsellor
C/o the Gleaner Company,
7 North Street,
Kingston.
You can also fax Rev. Hyatt at 977-2216, please put the letter to his attention, or e-mail him at dearcounsellor@netscape.net
