Dear Pastor,
Greetings in the name of Jesus. I have a problem I would like you to help me with. I used to live with my grandmother during the sixties. I helped her husband and herself with their farming. Their two sons died and her husband died also. She had three nephews and she gave one of them quarter acre of her land before she died.
When she became ill in 1979, I was up and down with her to the doctor. Nobody gave me any money to help with the doctor bills. She died in 1982. She was only receiving $14 every two weeks as pension. I had to spend my money on her. When she died, one of her nephews helped me with funeral expenses. The one she gave the piece of land did nothing to help.
In 1997, my son took me to Canada. I have been working to raise money to cut off my piece of land. The nephew who assisted me in burying my grandmother promised to help me look about my piece, but he died recently. And his brother who got a piece of the land told my children that they have to leave. Where I was living with my children my grandmother and her husband built the house and from my grandmother died, every year I help to pay the taxes for the land.
I cannot return to Jamaica right now because I do not have enough money to buy my ticket and to pay a lawyer. So can you tell me what I should do from this side or what my daughter can do until I am able to return to Jamaica?
May the Good Lord bless and keep you.
L.B., Toronto
Dear L.B.,
From what you have said I gather your grandmother probably did not leave a will. On the other hand, if you have been living on the property and helping to pay the taxes and everybody knows that your grandmother had given to you the piece of property on which you were living, I think you should get the piece. But a lawyer will have to help you. You say you do not have money to pay a lawyer. Your children will have to help. Otherwise they might find themselves out in the cold.
Please instruct them to contact a lawyer and to find out what the lawyer will charge. It is not good enough to throw your hands up and say there is no money to retain a lawyer. It may not be as expensive as you think. You would not have to pay all the money one time. You can work out something with the lawyer.
I wish you well. Don't fret. Pray and ask God to have His way in this matter. God can over rule. Don't give up and remember God will bless you for the good you have done for your grandmother.
Pastor
Tale of woe
Dear Pastor,
The trouble that I am having, I think I have brought them on myself. I don't know the reason for doing so, but I did. I am a 27-year-old married woman with one child. I met my husband eight years ago and everything was great. We had our child and then we got married. Before getting married we were facing some problems. He had a number of women along with me who also lived in the same community.
People in the community knew of this and no one said anything to me until I found myself infected with sexually transmitted diseases. I had to get treatment for myself, for him, and also for the other woman, at my expense. After we decided to get married and I started shopping for the wedding, I heard that a young girl was pregnant for him. I confronted him about it and he admitted to it.
I stuck by him. However, I got to understand that the girl aborted the pregnancy. We still continued to plan for the wedding. Then one night we got into an argument over a silly matter and he took out his anger on our child who was very young. He abused me physically and even took up a cutlass at me. I had to run out of the house with my child.
I was at home one day when a girl called and asked for my fiance's work number. I gave it to her, but later she called me back and told me a couple things about herself and my fiance. She told me that on weekends when I am in Kingston she sleeps at my house. She even told me about my wedding band and other things.
My husband to be had called me shortly before the girl called the second time and told me not to answer the telephone. But I disobeyed and answered it. I didn't say anything to her, but confronted him when he came home. He denied it. We argued and I acted as though I was going to flush the engagement ring and he hit me in my face so hard that I thought my nose was broken. It hurt for days. I only told his mother about the incident, but no one else. Everything went well up until the wedding day.
We got married as planned despite the obstacles, but shortly after that I told him that I had actually liked a certain gentleman who operates a taxi. The reason for telling him was that as a husband I would have expected him to help me through the rough times because I was facing temptations. He turned his back on me and despised me. To this day I am sorry I told him my true feelings. I didn't disclose my feelings to anyone else because of shame, but I still have strong feelings for the man.
Then things became worse. This man used to pick me up in the mornings because transportation was hard to get. And in the evenings he would look out for me. That became a routine for a few months and my husband would tell me in the mornings when he is passing and also helped me to get dressed in order to catch the taxi.
One night I left work late and was going home and it happened that at one point I was the only passenger in the vehicle and the man kissed me. I didn't want to believe it, but I responded to his kiss. It was something I had always dreamed of. A relationship developed between the man and myself. Sometimes I would leave work late so that the man could pick me up. We would spend a few minutes together, then he would take me home. This went on for a few months.
This man and I are still having a relationship. I purchased a car and gave it to this man to drive. My husband didn't know anything about it until recently. Sometime last year I went to the hospital to visit my employer. When I returned home my husband attacked me with a knife saying that I went out with the man. I had to run to the police station to report him. He had also threatened to kill our child. This happened before I bought the car.
I moved out with my child. When he found out about the car, I explained to him about it. Surprisingly, he didn't try to hurt me at the time, but I moved out again after he pulled a cutlass and threatened the man and myself. Both of us went and talked to a lady and also to my parents about our problems and I thought that things would be better. But later on he beat me up and pulled a knife at me. I had to run away to Kingston with my child.
I am now staying with a friend who knows only part of the story. I am not working at the moment because I had to leave my job and run away. The other man is still sticking by me through thick and thin, but my friend does not really like him. He is 17 years my senior. And he has 21 children. He says he is devoted to me. He travels from the country to visit me and I go to visit him, but my friend does not approve of what I am doing.
I have only written about some of my problems.
A., St. Andrew
Dear A.,
If you believe that you are very much in love with this man and there is no hope of reconciliation with your husband, you should divorce him. This man you are going with has many children. I suppose many of them are adults, but for a man to have 21 children, it goes without saying that he has had many baby mothers.
Nevertheless, if you believe that he loves you and would settle down with you, then both of you should get married after you have had your divorce. It seems to me that you love this man more than your husband. You bought a car and gave it to him without the knowledge of your husband. And you have been going to bed with him. Perhaps that is the reason why you said in the first paragraph of your letter that you have brought trouble on yourself.
I am glad that you are alive. Your husband has threatened you many times, so it would be wise to leave. On the other hand, you have to understand that your girlfriend with whom you are staying feels that as a married woman you shouldn't have gotten involved with another man. Try and get yourself a job.
Pastor
