I am so depressed and in need of your help. I see where you have helped others and I hope you can help me.
I am 17 years old and I have never had a girlfriend, mainly because I am so shy and do not know how to approach a girl. I am good at my academics and have been told that I am good looking. I am, however, very afraid of approaching the girls, as whenever I do, they always turn me down.
What can I do to overcome this shyness? Is there hope for me? will I ever get a girlfriend?
Depressed
Dear Depressed:
Let me congratulate you for being serious about your academics as that is very important. Secondly, I think you are afraid of being rejected, hence you are nervous about approaching young ladies, thus you always do it the wrong way, like most young men.
The first tip I would give you in meeting and approaching young ladies, is that you must be yourself. Do not follow some of those silly young men who try to use pick up lines. The more intelligent young ladies will find that a turn off and will in fact laugh at you.
Next tip, remember that she does not have to accept your approach, and that is her choice. Whenever you approach a young lady, always treat her like a young lady. Be courteous, respectful, and kind. Always begin by greeting her (Good morning, hello etc), then tell her your name, being quick to let her know she does not have to give hers.
Start the conversation simple and pure, complimenting her honestly, remembering that respect due everytime. This is a fairmaiden, not one of your brethren. Never ask a young lady for her number whenever you first meet her. Offer to give her yours, letting her know that she has a choice whether or not she wishes to call.
Try these tips, and let me know when they work, I am sure they will. Be true to yourself and respectful to the young lady, that is the key.
All the best.
Counsellor
Write to Dear Counsellor Rev. Stephen-Claude Hyatt at Youth Link, The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston; Fax: 922-6223; e-mail ylink@go-jamaica.com or dearcounsellor@netscape.net
