Tony DeyalWHEN I heard recently about Jamaican gold, I did not consider it something out of the ordinary. After all, when the large tobacco companies expected the imminent legalisation of marijuana in the 1970s, one company's campaign was based on a product registered as 'Acapulco Gold'. While Jamaican Gold as a brand name seemed to be lacking in the originality one expects from Jamaicans, one can understand the sentiments behind the intention to put the world once more on the gold standard.
John Milton Keynes, the great economist, was thoroughly against the gold standard, although one is not clear on his views of the herbaceous as opposed to the mineralogical species of wealth, what one would call the 'cannabisness' as opposed to legitimate trade. Keynes had written that, "In truth the gold standard is a barbarous relic." He realised the fact that gold retains its allure for mankind for a host of reasons that need to be explained as much by a psychologist as by an economist.
It has a fascination that goes beyond its function as money, as a secure source of value. It has given rise to the expressions 'as good as gold', 'worth your weight in gold', and 'a heart of gold'. It has become a comparative measure for wealth. Sundry products of value are likened to it. Oil is described as 'black gold' and shrimps for export as 'pink gold'. All this for a mineral defined as a 'precious yellow non-rusting malleable ductile metallic element of high density, used as a fundamental monetary medium.'
Ambrose Bierce in his Devil's Dictionary, compiled in the late 19th century, described gold as "a yellow metal greatly prized for its convenience in the various kinds of robbery known as trade". He said the word formerly spelled 'God' but the 'l' was inserted to distinguish it from the name of another and inferior deity.
Keynes helped to replace the gold standard, against which currencies fluctuated, with a system of fixed exchange rates. Paradox-ically, the new system worked only so long as America remained on the gold standard. When, in 1968, American President Richard Nixon took America off the Gold Standard, the Bretton Woods system collapsed like the West Indies batting lineup.
It had come into effect in 1944 to avoid a post-war depression in America. Like Lazarus, smoke, and the West Indies cricket team, the gold standard is expected to rise again because people would rather trust a dead metal than a live politician.
Gustav Robert Kirchoff, the German physicist, is now best remembered for his work on spectroscopy. One of the important effects of his work on spectrum analysis was that for the first time it was possible to ascertain the chemical elements present in celestial bodies. Kirchoff's banker like Karl Marx's mother was extremely sceptical. Mrs. Marx is reputed to have said after her son's Das Kapital was published that he should start making some rather than write about it. The banker is supposed to have asked acidly, 'What good is gold in the sun if I can't bring it down to earth?'
Ironically, Kirschoff's work became internationally recognised and he was awarded a gold medal together with a prize of gold sovereigns. As he deposited the money to the bank, Kirschoff said, 'Here is the gold from the sun.'
Those who thought that there was nothing new under the Jamaican sun, except the right conditions at the right time for growing cannabis, must now face the reality that Jamaica has joined the elite ranks of the gold producers and exporters. It is a reason for concern as much as celebration. What happened to the vast wealth of 16th century Spain baffled Spaniards at the time and has fascinated historians ever since. A lot of the gold was stolen. One researcher estimated that almost 15 per cent of the gold destined for Spain from the New World (meaning us), never reached its destination. The rest of the wealth just dribbled away like Trinidad's oil windfall of the 1970s. The conquest of El Dorado left Spain with a lot more money but not that much wealth.
One hopes that the discovery and exploitation of gold in Jamaica does not lead to a gold rush as claimed by a university professor who taught the post-graduate economics course in a British university. The professor was well known for his disgusting sense of humour. His female students were fed up and had planned that the next time he said anything remotely suggestive or smutty they would walk out of the class en-masse and complain to the university's Dean.
Dealing with the Bretton Woods Conference and the Gold Standard, the professor said quite suddenly, 'You know since that new gold mine opened up in Jamaica I hear there's quite a gold rush going on there. In fact, I understand that a plane load of prostitutes is expected to be heading there to earn some money from the lonely miners.' At that point, all the women got up and started walking out. The professor was disconcerted for a moment, but then realising what was happening said, 'Wait, ladies, hold on. What's your hurry? Air Jamaica doesn't leave Heathrow until 10 tonight!'
Tony Deyal was last seen saying that it is surprising how many spots on the character are removed by a solution of gold. He wouldn't mind being cleansed himself.
