Crying over a cop

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old and I am in love with a policeman for over five years now. I have children, but they are not living with me. Their father is in prison. The children are not with me because I cannot support them and the work that I am doing does not pay much. I have never gone out to seek another man. I am with the policeman only because I love him.

Although this policeman is not supporting me, every time he sees me he wants sex. I have sex with him because I do not love him for what he has. I just love him. I have strong feelings for him. Whenever I ask him for money he says he does not have any to give me. He does not come and visit me although he has a car, but he is always promising me to come. I am always visiting him and inviting him out.

I heard that he is married, but he told me it is not true. Every day I cry. Why are these men going around using ladies like that? They pretend that they love them, but they do not. Everyday I read in the papers how policemen go around using the ladies and fooling them up. I want to advise all the ladies out there to be careful of these policemen. I am hurt by one, but it will not happen twice.

P.W., St. Andrew

Dear P.W.,

Please bear in mind that there are good policemen. I do not believe it is fair to condemn all policemen because of the behaviour of some of their colleagues. Evidently, the man that you have is not truthful, but face it, you have to use some common sense too. You have observed that this man is not paying you much attention. He is not visiting you, he is not calling you. Anytime you want to see him you have to go where he is. That should be enough to tell you that he is really not interested in you.

You have strong feelings for him and you say you love him although he does not give you any money. You must know why you have these strong feelings. On the other hand, you are throwing out a warning to all young women. You are disappointed in the policeman. Perhaps it is time for you to have a long talk with him. Tell him how you feel and perhaps give him an ultimatum. I would not be surprised if the policeman just laughs at you because you seem to be very simple.

Pastor

Womanising boyfriend is cruel, self-centred

Dear Pastor,

I am a young woman and I have been having a relationship with a man for over four years. We are now living together. I am not sure if he loves me, but he says he does. He has done a lot of good things and bad things.

I got diseases from him many times. He goes with other girls and one of the girls who gave him disease was my friend. I forgave him because he promised it would not happen again. I am worried because whenever he goes to bed with these girls he comes home to me and have sex with me.

This man caused me to be spend lots of money on doctor bills. I went to my gynaecologist and I had to run lots of tests. Now he has a woman pregnant. This woman is married and living with her husband.

One night he went out and did not return until the following day, and when I talked to him about it, he beat me up. Every time he has a new girl and I find out and ask him about it, he denies it. And whenever he beats me up he tells me the relationship is over.

He told me that he wants to live a free life just as he used to before he started to live with me. I told him that cannot work, so he took his clothes and left. I did not see him for over a week. Then he called me and told me that he was sorry. I am trying to move on with my life, but it seems as if I cannot do without him.

Please pray for me, I strongly believe in prayer.

Abused, St. Mary

Dear Abused,

I believe that you should end the relationship with this man. He has many women and he has given you sexually transmitted diseases. He has constantly verbally and physically abused you. He has finally moved out. You should not pine over him, neither should you encourage him to return. If you do, he will continue to abuse you.

I am not suggesting that it would be easy to wipe him out of your mind. What I am saying is that this relationship is not going anywhere. He does not care for you. Neither does he respect your feelings. He is cruel and self-centred. He will not make a good husband. In fact, he is not even thinking of settling down. Don't let him back into your life.

Pastor

Haunted by the past

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years of age. I was baptized twice, but I am still not serving the Lord. I am a backslider. I think that the reason for my turning back has to do with my childhood. My mother left my father with six of us children and she never returned. My father had to do everything for us. I have never forgotten what my mother did.

We had a great father. He worked hard and helped us. On holidays we could not go out because our father could not afford to buy us new things. I cannot forgive my mother. I have tried, but the past is still before me. I am now staying in Kingston with her, but my thoughts are on my father.

S.C., St. Andrew

Dear S.G.,

I am wondering if you had written to me before about this matter. I seem to remember answering a similar letter from someone who wrote to me about being baptized twice. Whether or not you were the writer, is not so very important. I have decided to respond to this letter because too many people believe that whenever they have found themselves in a backslidden condition, they should walk down the isle of a church and give themselves up for another baptism. Some people have been baptized many times because they say that the Bible teaches that one should repent and be baptized for the remission of their sins.

Baptism is important. But one baptism is good enough. Christian baptism is to be administered upon a person once. So if you feel that you are a backslider, you should rededicate your life to God. You should not be re-baptized. It is not necessary.

Concerning the hatred you have in your heart for your mother, I would beg of you to discuss your feelings with her. It is easy to condemn her, but perhaps she ran away because she was under great stress. Perhaps she felt if she had stayed she would have gone crazy. Thank God for your father. He did well, but please, ask God to remove from your heart the resentment you feel for your mother.

Pastor

Husband spreading disease all over

Dear Pastor,

I am writing this letter with tears in my eyes. Only God can help me out of this problem, so I am seeking your prayers of deliverance. My husband has caused me some problems. He is a ram goat and a donkey. It is impossible to cure him. I had my first son with him, and he went ahead and got another son with my niece who is living at the house where my husband is now staying. He told me that he is still having sex with my niece, so may be she has this disease too.

My husband told me that he ran through a whole family from daughter to mother, but he did not tell me which family. The only thing he said was that the mother is now living in America. I am not going to die alone, but I will not spread this disease. I am going to create painful death to all who are having sex with my husband. Whosever gave this sickness to him and to me, their private parts will rot like butter in sun by my obeah man.

My life is shortened by this man who keeps spreading this disease all over the place. It is better for him to hang himself. My pocket is not empty, and my obeah man is still working very well.

Please pray for me and for all those who caught this incurable disease from my husband.

W., Brooklyn, New York

Dear W.,

I could only suspect what type of disease you are talking about. If your husband is having sex with so many women, it is likely that he is passing this disease around. That should not be tolerated at all and you have a moral obligation to report him to the appropriate authority. This is not a joke. It is serious. The only joke in this matter is your threat about your obeah man.

My sympathy to all those who are suffering. I find it amazing that your husband could have gone to bed with so many females from one family. I hope that everybody in the district will come to realise that this man is infected and therefore, it is risky for any woman to go to bed with him.

Pastor

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