Freddy in New York YOU ALL know Freddy. Here's his latest missive. Plaza Hotel, June 17, 2001 New York, NY. Dear Mr. Face, Me reach New York and if you think Hengland and German big, you have to see this place. Cooyah! Sky-grater so tall, if John Crow did fly so high them would get nose bleed. So many things to see in New York, I almost never know where to start. But me always want see Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island so I get on a bus. Well Mr. Face, bus in New York not so easy as you might imagine. I climb on and tell the driver where me want. Him say me need token. Me tell him me don't have no token, ongle money. Him say that can't work! And in a Merca me deh?! So me ask where I can buy token. Him tell me Subway. Mr. Face, them sell bus token at sandwich shop, that make sense to you? Imagine if every time you want catch a bus in Jamaica you have to go Burger King or Tastee to buy ticket? Better them sell pattie on the bus and make we go about our business and eat what we want when we want. So me walk. Mr. Face, me know say Merca big, but one building is so tall is a state all him own! Empire State. It so tall the top hide in cloud. Me climb up there and when me look down is pure ants me see. Me feel woozy and haffi sit for a time. It not healthy to be so high. Unless is heaven or Air Jamaica. Then rain start fall like a Portland we deh. But nothing can't stop me from seeing Ellis Island Mr. Face, no Sir, I determine. Especially since me Aunty Myrtle did come to Merca and stay at Ellis Island in a place call Quarantine for two years. So me decide to go to a store and buy rain supply. You know what I like in foreign like Merca, Hengland and Miami, everywhere open, even on Sunday. Me know God say Sunday is a rest day but Jew, Hindu and Muslim know plenty Christian love to shop for them rest and relaxation, so them open up them store and oblige us. Me love that bout them. Me love to shop you see. Is in me jeans. And in my coat pocket, hand, even me elbow. Me decide a need something to carry everything in. Me see a sign say Sacks! I figure them must sell crocus bag or something can carry tings. Me also buy a thing called "Sou' Wester". It yellow and rain can't get through it. A get a coat to match and a brolly too. Brolly not cheap but me like it as it have one sword in it. You never know when you going have to cut banana or use some self defence. So me, me shopping, me brolly and me sou' wester set off again. Worst thing about New York, is taxi so confusing. You can tell me which colour cab stop for black people? Not the yellow taxi them, that's for sure! NYPD Blue When me reach Battery Park, me see three line. The shortest one already loading on the ferry boat so me join it. Me going along fine when one NYPD Blue shout in him twang, "Freeze!" and grab me! "Expardon!", me say, even though is him handle me rough. Him tell me "Shut up!" and push me. I ask him why him pushing. NYPD Blue take out big stick, wave it in me face and tell me to "Spread!" Me tell him is rude to point stick at people and ask where him come from. Him say Jersey. Me tell him me nuh care what him wearing him can't treat people so. Rain fall harder so me open me brolly. Me mussi flick wrong switch because brolly open, top fly into the air, knock off NYPD hat, the handle separate from brolly top, exposing the sword which glint in me hand like Excalibur. Mr. Face, you should a see blue light flash, gun draw and man dive for cover. Well me never get to see Liberty Statue or Ellis Island. Me not going have much liberty right now but me get to see one island name Riker's. More soon. Freddy Tony Hendriks can be reread at www.JamaicanPaleface.com or e-mailed androundly chastised via JamaicanPaleface@aol.com
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