On My Mind - The pressures of being single

By Kameisha Grant, Gleaner Writer

Kameisha Grant - Ian Allen

I WILL get up one morning and suddenly realise that I am thirty-five, unmarried, childless and probably serving as a postmistress in some rural district it takes a year to find. I fear I may even be weighing in at least 250lbs. Since I am currently in no relationship with a member of the opposite sex, I also fear my now cheery disposition may alter and I will be known to all as Manless ­ the woman who can't get a man.

I wonder why people look at me strangely when I tell them "Oh, I am happily single." Even my father doesn't get it. He thinks I am dating my best friend!

I have been told that "pretty girl" like me could never be happy single. When they find out that I have been single for the greater part of a year, the reaction is usually one of utter shock.

According to the sages, not having a man is a crime and I am a scourge to my gender. How dare I stand up for what's left of my bruised fidelity and not attach myself to a man? I think I am a failure in one of my grandmothers' eyes (I have three. Long story) for two reasons.

Firstly, she doesn't expect me to last long in "this journalism business" as I may scare off the men with my "independent woman speech". Secondly, she instructed me, to find a man who is working (translated into: have money) and have a car. As long as he is treating me properly and doesn't disrespect me, I shouldn't complain. Just sit tight. I have failed at both.

I've been led to believe that Man and not Money, is the root of all evil. After all, who prints the stuff? However, the Bible says that one must, "Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." So, it is my constitutional right to have freedom of speech and if I say that men/relationships right now are evil, hands-off brother, be glad I am not clinging to you!

What's on your mind? Tell us and we'll publish it in this space we've created especially for you. It could be a quirky observation or a serious note, we only ask that you keep it to about 350 words (include a recent photograph and a phone number or an address). We also welcome your letters. Send your views to Flair Co-ordinator ­ Fax: 922-6223; e-mail: bellington@gleanerjm.com or gcameron@gleanerjm.com; by mail: 7 North Street, Kingston.

Back to Flair