Lusting at boss' killer legs

Dear Pastor,

I hope you can help me. I am a 23-year-old man. I work at a store uptown and my boss is a woman. She turns me on. She has the loveliest pair of legs I have ever seen. When she wears her short skirts, I love to go into her office just to look at her sexy legs. My co-workers give her a hard time, but I love to look at her lovely body.

She is about 36-years-old. I know she broke up with her boyfriend. I heard her talking about another man, but I don't care who she talks to, I would love to have this woman for myself. If I should let her know how I feel about her, she may laugh at me or tell me to go away.

Please tell me what to do.

M.B., St. Andrew

Dear M.B.,

I suggest that you tell this lady that you admire her. You may be surprised, she could be admiring you too. What would you do if this woman should take you on seriously? Do you think you could continue working there? I doubt that very much. Why do you think that she may run away? Is it because you feel that your educational standing is not as high as hers? Or is it because she is your boss?

It seems to me that you are lusting after your boss. What you are seeing and admiring are her beautiful legs and lovely body. I am in no position to judge you, but you write as someone who has a sinful desire towards this woman. However, if your motive is pure, you should not be afraid to let your boss know that you are interested in her. I hope though that you have another job lined up. She may not just run you out of her office, or she mak ask you to resign if she believes that you are fresh and out of order.

Pastor

Boyfriend giving 'bun'

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 years old and I have a boyfriend. He took my virginity and I love him very much. Sometimes when I don't see him, I fret because I know he has other girls. Sometimes when I see him on the road with them, I cry. Whenever I ask him any question, he does not answer me. I told him I want us to get married when I leave school. Sometimes I do not know what to do. Although he is cheating on me, I am not going to cheat on him.

Please tell me what to do.

M., Westmoreland

Dear M.,

I suggest that you try to concentrate on your school work and not get carried away with this young man. You are sexually active and you feel that this young man is cheating on you. The truth is, you are just one of his girlfriends and he is not taking this relationship seriously. He is having a good time. You are wasting your time fretting over him. He is not going to stop sporting with other girls just to please you. He does not believe that you have a right to ask him any question about his other girlfriends.

He took your virginity, but that does not mean anything to him. Perhaps he has done the same to other girls. It is time therefore for you to realize that you have made a mistake. You are only 16-years-- old. Marriage should be the last thing on your mind. Study hard and try to pass your examinations. You will always remember that this guy took your virginity or that he was your first intimate boyfriend. But take comfort in the thought that you can learn from your mistakes. Move on with your life. Don't waste your time fretting over him.

Pastor

Three the hard way

Dear Pastor,

I am 24-years-old. My boyfriend and I are together for almost three years. I met another guy who is 33-years-old. He treats me well, but both of us are very jealous of each other. I am losing interest in him.

I met another guy. He is a friend of my brother. Both of them were in prison together in another country. From this man came to Jamaica with my brother and stayed at our house, I fell in love with him. We live in a two bedroom house. My mother, father and two brothers sleep in one room and this man and I sleep in the front room.

I see my first boyfriend during the day, but I love this other guy who was in prison with my brother. My mother and brothers want me to stop talking to my first boyfriend.

Please give me your fatherly advice.

C.C., Clarendon

Dear C.C.,

You are a bad girl. You are playing with your life. You are having sex with three men. You have a steady boyfriend and both of you have been going together for three years. You picked up another man, and he is helping you financially. Now a companion of your brother who was in prison has come into your life and you have not even put up a resistance. You are sleeping with him. Girl, you are too much. You are too cheap.

You do not have any respect for your parents. Neither do you have respect for yourself. Your two brothers are sleeping in your parents room, while you wrap up this man in the other room. Shame on you. You mean to tell me that your parents are allowing you to do that in their house.

It is girls like you that cause some men not to trust women. You know that you are having an intimate relationship with a man who has recently served time in prison, but your boy-friend does not even realize that. He comes to see you during the day. He thinks that you are upright. You are getting help from him too. I repeat, you are playing with your life.

You are 24-years-old. The life you are living is not good. Turn around. Stop the foolishness. Keep one boyfriend. The man with whom you are living will not trust you. He knows what you are doing, and he will feel that you will the same thing to him whenever you have the opportunity.

Pastor

On bended knees for American visa

Dear Pastor,

My father is ill and he is not going to recover. I have not seen him for about 17 years. You may not understand what I am going through. I love my father very much.

He sent down some papers to the United States Embassy, and when I went to the office, they said they could not grant me the visa. Right now it is only grace keeping me. I am having lots of problems, but I have faith in God.

Sometimes I feel like I would hang myself. I heard that visa is giving away like trouble, and that the American people want us to come and work for them. I am going to reapply. Please pray that God may grant me the visa. Please pray that God will hear my cry and answer me. Everyday I wake up, I cry.

I keep wondering what is happening to my life.

I would love to see my father before he dies. I would do anything to get a visa.

S. Manchester

Dear S.,

If you believe that you have a good reason for wanting to visit the United States of America, you could appeal and have the Embassy review your case.

I am not sure they will reverse their decision, but at least you can try. I suppose you will have to convince them that you will return to Jamaica. Do you plan to return?

You claim to have many problems. I want to suggest that in your devotions you read prayerfully Psalm 37. You believe in prayer, but you have not yet learned to wait patiently on the Lord. Psalm 37 teaches every man to trust in God, to rest heavily upon God, and to wait patiently upon God.

It also teaches Christians to commit their way unto the Lord. God is still alive and He will not abandon you.

I am sorry to hear of your father's illness. May God grant him peace of mind and if it is His will, restore him to good health.

Pastor

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO DEAR PASTOR, DR. AARON DUMAS, P.O.BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON. FOR PERSONAL REPLIES PLEASE INCLUDE A STAMPED SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE.

TELEPHONE: 929-1667/929-1668

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