Dear Rev.:
I WRITE to express my views on the issuing of condoms to teenagers. I think it is immoral and those who are supporting same should be silenced.
What we should be teaching our children is that they should abstain from sex and stop sinning against their bodies. Also, they are condemning themselves to a devil's hell.
Those who refuse to give them the condom are correct in doing so. God has called us to righteousness, not sinfulness. These young people must recognise that they are not yet ready for sex, as their bodies are not yet developed for the act.
Keep up the good work.
Angella Dawkins
Dear Angella,
A lot of what you said is correct, as I believe young people should try to abstain from sexual intercourse, as they are not yet ready for same. However, I believe that their level of readiness has nothing to do with the physical structure, as physically, many are ready for sex. There readiness is on other level; namely, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and certainly financially.
I discredit the physical, because in several cultures, girls are married at age 13, and begin having children soon after. It stands to reason that if these girls are ready for sex, some of whom become great mothers, then our children will think we are trying to deceive them. Of course, within these cultures, other systems are in place, the first of which, is the marriage of the individuals and the support of family.
I guess you will think I am to be silenced, as I am one who support teenagers being given condoms, because I know they are having sex whether or not they receive same. Yes, they should be taught to abstain, as we have been trying to teach them; however, I am conscious of many of them still engaging in sexual activities. I have several young boys reporting to me that they think their girlfriends are pregnant, or girls reporting that they are pregnant.
Still others are being diagnosed with various sexually transmitted diseases. Is it that they have not been taught? NO, rather, they are unable to control their appetites for sex.
I believe that some lessons are too difficult to learn via experience, one of which is letting them get pregnant, or worst yet, become HIV positive in order to learn their lesson. Young people should be encouraged to leave sex for later, or delay sexual gratifications; however, good sense would instruct us to still equip them with all the necessary tools to protect themselves, which would include the condom, along with other such tools, including the tool to delay.
Rev.
I am desperate
to have children!
Dear Rev.:
I was reading The Gleaner on-line and came across your column. I must compliment you on the sound advice you have given those who have written to you seeking help.
My problem may be somewhat trivial, but it is a problem nonetheless. I am a 29-year-old female, reading for my first degree, and I am single and wanting to get married.
I am aware of the fact that my biological clock is ticking, and I want to have a child so badly. The problem is that I am a Christian, I should not have a child out of wedlock. How-ever, I feel so very desperate that I am thinking about doing that. Do not get me wrong, I want to get married, but no one seems willing to pop the question.
What are your thoughts?
Worried
Dear Friend,
I understand your concern and fear at this juncture of your life. However, I do not believe that you should be placing so much emphasis on getting married or having a child. I know that most women, and even men look forward to this; however, it should not be at the expense of selling yourself short.
It is my belief that whether or not to leave the Church to have a child is really your decision; however, you need to ask yourself what are the possible consequences of such a decision. How will it affect your relationship with God and your church? Where does the will of God come into play? What will be the relationship between you and the child's father? If you are the one who decided to have the child and raise it on your own, is it fair to deprive the child of his father?
All these are technical questions, but they need to be carefully assessed before making any such decision. You say you are a Christian, suppose it is not the will of God for you to be married or have children? I think we should learn to wait on the Lord, and allow Him to direct our paths, not us directing same for ourselves.
I really think you should concentrate on bettering yourself, finishing your degree and getting a career going. Do not give up on God's provision for you, and do not give up on love. There is much more to life than getting married and having children, though many would disagree with me. Still, it is not too late for your lover boy to arrive.
Be bold, be strong, for the Lord thy God is with thee.
Rev.
You may write to Rev. Stephen-Claude Hyatt at Let's Talk Life C/O the Gleaner Company, 7 North Street Kingston, or e-mail him at letstalklife@hotmail.com.
