Nashauna Drummond, Freelance Writer
WHAT HAVE you done to me? You have gained over thirty pounds on your once-almost-perfect figure; your breasts have sagged; you have stretch marks and you can no longer see your toes.
But that is only the beginning. The running nose, the dirty diapers, waking up at 3 o'clock in the morning. You have lost your freedom because, yes, you are now a parent. You have the countless visits to the doctor, and then there are the school fees and the responsibility for the rest of your life.
Are you ready for this?
There are many traditional reasons why some people think it's necessary to have children. Some ancient societies believe that you should reproduce in order to ensure that your spirit never dies. They believed that if you do not have a child in which to pass on your physical or personality traits, then you have completely passed from this world when you have a physical death. The Jamaican
society once had similar importance associated with producing children. A few decades ago, a woman who did not or could not have a child was called a 'mule' .
Hello!
It's the twenty-first century, and women no longer feel that they have to validate their femininity by having a child/children. Jamaicans, both male and female, are adamant about going through their lives and not having such 'baggage' around. Clinical psychologist, Dr. Ruth Doorbar, explains that for women the ideal plan is school, career, marriage and then a child. She says that a child usually interrupts the career stage for some women, "the rewards at this stage are very great and so they don't want to interrupt it."
Kids, who needs them anyway?
WOMEN, HOWEVER, have many different reasons for not having children. Twenty-seven-year-old secretary, Denise Bolt, says, "Children just don't entice me." She explains that she works at a school and the children there are so noisy and rude. She has a two-year-old niece whom she says is always around her. She finds this very annoying as she likes her personal space to just relax and read.
Denise said her decision not to have children could be related to the way she grew up. Her grandfather didn't like the noise of children around him. She said, "They (children) are so influenced by the outside world and television: they adopt so much from these. I want to work and when I come home I'm tired. I wouldn't have time to spend with a child." She says if she meets Mr. Right she might reconsider her position.
Twenty-seven-year-old Rochelle Laing said, "I don't find a need to at this time. I haven't done certain things that I want to do. What do I have to give a child? A child is not something you can break off from at any time that's it for you, it's a life-time commitment". Twenty-five-year-old Jacqueline Hewitt, said she does not want children because, "I don't like the way the society is going right now." She said that a lot of women her age want to further their studies or concentrate on their career and a child would just get in the way. She also said that there are certain norms and values that she would teach her child and then for them to go out there and be influenced by peer pressure would be quite a disappointment. Ms Hewitt said, "A lot of very young women are having children they are not equipped to be mothers to teach their children proper norms and values." She said these are the children who would be influencing her child. "We (women) are not sure we can raise a child in this environment." She said when she gets older her perception might change.
