Amina Blackwood Meeks
Amina Blackwood Meeks, Contributor
LOOK HERE, between you and me, is nat everything good fe eat, good fe talk. But ah have to talk dis wan an may de ancestors proteck me. Consequently, I am going to talk it in de secret language of de subversives. I mean dat inconsequential majority who go to school into some chuck up classroom wid minimal resources and whose principals other principals of means refuse to associate wid, all the better to maintain the artificial divides in this society. I mean such as the language divide for example which allows some amongst us to stay pan dem mountain top and wonder "what people thinking" when dem go live pan river bank fe meck rain come flood dem out.
Dem probably tinking dat life is very unfair, dat no matter how hard dem work, especially as nannies and gardners to de mountaintops, nutten naw gwaan fe dem. Dem probably tinking dat no matter how much time dem declare like Oku Onoura 'Slum Dweller' dat dem want fe live like human beings, people on de odder side of de language divide gwaan like dem do not understand in spite of de vantage point of their mountains all the better to over-stand how dis worl nuh level. Oh, an wan more ting is nat my fault if dem kean read dis column. Twenty-first century people is to behave like dem undastan dat from yu have a good brain in yu head nutten is beyond your reach of learning providing you are given the opportunities. No language do nat belong to wan set a people only. From ancient times we all speaking in tongues. In modern times, de more tongues you can speak in de more you can keep up wid de times. Such is to say, more tongues, not less. And some people talk in some quality tongues bout what dem telling big officials from long time bout flood-prone communities and big officials gwaan like dem doan undastan, gwaan like is only nastiness an block up gully cause de recent catastrophe.
Drownings
Miss Lady sey de ting dat mose puzzle har bout de recent floods is de mysterious nature of de drownings dat gwane. Man a go look food, him wash way. Car lick nadda car inna de back, lick it inna sink hole, de driver drown. An so on. But de wan dat puzzle har de mose is de wan dat happen ova Flat Bridge. People always a sey how de vehicle dem a go nice an easy an suddenly, voops, dem capsize. Is long time she did want to investigate chu word have it dat dem adda wan who live pan de bridge get lonely sometimes and want extra company. So dis time she decide fe put intention into practice.
Me dear good people, into de downpour she set up a likkle reading room out by de bridge to see what was really going on. She never even have a umbrella. Jus she, har crystal ball, de tray and de dozen of bakkle of Ile-a-mus-crass-safe. She did really intend fe hand dem out fe free, but when she si people a go inna dem packet fe pay tousands fe get escorted tru de raging water she put on a token price per bakkle. She sey she never have hand fe sell it. But dat was jus de bonus. Is de adda tings wat come to light...
She sey dat aldoagh she never work with no met office yet an aldoagh har head nuh function good so sometimes, to de bes a har memory, she kean remember a wedda system like de wan dat jus whap we. At one time she sure she hear de wedda people dem talk bout tree systems in one. That is nat de tree dat people is nat to chap down indiscriminately, especially without due homage to them that dwell therein, unseen to the uninitiated. It is not de tree dat dere is supposed to be a planned and sustained effort to replant like we really believe in its importance. It is the number that follows two. Now tree is a serious number. When de droppan man play tree dat mean dead. An it come in like sey dis wedda did come fe do a killin. So Miss Lady sey to harself, "ah have to figure dis out."
Out pan de bridge, she look into har crystal ball an de rain wash up a memory of when she was a likkle girl a walk behind har bredda an adda else likkle boy afta rain fall and watch dem sail paper boat. Dat mean sey, yu stan up pan de sidewalk and sail de boat in de water dat running below de level of the sidewalk. Yu get de pitcha? De sidewalk was still visible, could be walked upon. Nat so in dese rains. Yu had to have a good-good boat fe navigate yu way home. Odderwise else, yu know somebody wid a wrecker or yu willing to pay somebody wid a wrecker up to $5,000 fe ferry yu an yu car to de adda side.
An dis is where she try to tink to harself when was de first time in all de amount of rains she witness dat she hear de word flood. An same time Gilda an Flora flash crass de crystal ball. Now dem was bad flood. Go to Cuba an mash it up, wash whey food an such. An wen de badniss get whey inna dem, dem come to Jamaica and do more badniss, doagh nat as much as what dem did in Cuba. So she tink an she remember dat people who have nuttin better to do more dan smell rat, did have it to say how a certain powerful neighbour up North did seed de clouds. Dat mean dem put scientific tings up into de heavens, fly inna God face go meck rain. An chu dem is nat God, dem cudden control it.
De rat smellers did sey dat was a deliberate policy fe mash up Cuba. Likkle news did leak out to confirm de seeding of de clouds part but nobaddi did admit to any mal-intention towards Cuba. Dem did claims sey de drought did too prolong in de region an dem was trying to bring us some relief. Well maybe de full trute will never be known for generations to come because dat is now long dem teck to declassify documents. Which is why dis ting bout de bill dat pass inna de rain bout our information to come out after 20 years is nat really useful to nobaddi. When de flood of badniss start wash weh pikney like river in spate is how dem is going to cope wid two decades of tings dat pile up like drain wat daon clean fe as long? But ah doan want to stray too far from de rat.
Chickens
Miss Lady sey de firs whiff come when she see de chicken farmer dem pan de teevee a call some tousands of numbers of chickens what perish. An right away into de crystal ball see some importation going on to fill de gap. Wait! How summuch Jamaican chicken get drown afta de agriculture big man threaten farin fowl wid levy?
So she watch it some more. Vegetable farmer now sey every-ting wash out de ground. She see more importation. She memba sey de agriculture big man did also treaten farin vegetables wid levy. An a deh so har head grow an de May 13 Newsweek Magazine jus come clear-clear inna de crystal ball. It have a article name "Milkin 9-11 for Dollars". Read it yuself an tremble. De people dem claim sey dem owna Govament in shart supply of money an all kinds of ploys is being employed to get it. Dem buying an storing meat. Dem giving out subsidies to fe dem farmers unda something name "Farm Security Act". All de better fe batter we wid low cos suspeck-quality plastic genetically modified ting fe eat. An den de crystal ball tell har plain an straight dat dis flood into a document mark "Flood Security Act" but some a we kean see it chu it pan de adda side of de communication divide. We have fe wait till it disqualify or declassify or whatever dem do to tings before dem gi we an we glad fe accep.
Missed exams
De crystal ball check off de whole heap a pikney who cudden go school or write dem exams chu dem an link it to de requirement of a certain amount of dunceness into de society fe dem plan fe work. It furder link it to de increase in de visa fee to lessen de affordability of going abroad to counterack certain conditions. An some people doan know bout it. For dem deliberately announce it into de downpour dat was loud yu cudden even hear yu nayba. Worse yet if yu was singin in de rain like some people sing fe chase away de blues.
Den it check off de whole heap of multiplyin potholes an blame we fe chat too much. For how dare we want to eliminate potholes by soon in de future when pothole up a Merica. We mad? When forth came these first world ambitions?
De crystal ball tell har sey sometimes if yu really waan know what's going down yu haffe lack off de singing of yu owna vice an lissen to wat de rain tryin to tell you about odda vices. Inna de crystal ball Miss Lady see it plain-plain dat clean-up is nat a Labour Day ting is a everyday ting an is nat jus for garbage in de drains. Church door suddden have to wait for rain and policeman an brute force fe get clean up. Where disorder abounds disaster is bound to follow. De sanitising is going on everywhere especially inna de hearts and minds of men an de homan dem who a cheer dem awn. For if de Flood Security from systems unknown ketch yu before de clean up dun, importation bill of extreme proportions is bound to follow.
An wan nex ting de crystal ball show up is how it look like sey pan de South Coast is people get mash up an pan de North Coast is tings. South Coast people wudda want some tings too.
Water can be a dangerous ting yu know. It will trow up some tings yu never imagine did exis fe trow up. One day yu content fe sail paper boat an de nex day, de sidewalk gane. An ah deh so now yu gwine fine out tings... singing in de rain.
Amina Blackwood Meeks is a communications consultant and storyteller.
