Blackwood Meeks
Amina Blackwood Meeks, Contributor
VIVIEN MORRIS BROWN has a lovely little book called 'The Jamaica Handbook of Proverbs'. No, it is not a new book. Perhaps, however, you may have overlooked it as a result of having mistakenly accepted the notion that the Jamaican language is only spoken and cannot be written, has not orthography, that Miss Lou and Missa Cassidy and latter day co, as in company, just waste dem time.
Anyway I wanted to share with you that the handy reference guide to the proverbs lists five proverbs under the heading "Mother" and four under the heading "Mumma". There is no listing under "Puppa" and only one under "Father".
What really does this mean? That fathers are few in Jamaica and puppas even fewer? (Miss Vivien, me fren, go back an check again. There must be more. "Wukliss" or "Ugly" or any other derogatory classifications followed by "like yu puppa" do not count).
So what is this one deggeh-deggeh proverbial reference to father? "Son hat, juj de fada". The translation given in the handbook tickles me ebony, (it being a little difficult for me to be tickled pink). For the linguistically pure aspirants the translation is neither fish nor fowl nor good broken English: "If the son is so hot, judge how hot the father is". Do you see what I see?
Our thing is our thing it is not easily transmigrated or transliterated or whatever some people want to do it to give it "pedigree". But back to proverb book and father's day. The one time father gets documented in a proverb it is to indicate that we only have to be acquainted with the offspring to know what kind of behaviour we might expect from the father.
Usually the Mother is excused for she is always "such a nice lady" but "dat puppa yu see. People doan even know whey fe fine him". Not even inna book.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that once upon time, following up on the use of the male of the species solely for breeding purposes for those who profited by the breeding, our children would be given the legal classification of "filius nilius", son of no man. No wonder de puppas could not be seen for duppies are known for their penchant not to show up themselves to any and everybody.
That is perhaps why it took 60 years after the official proclamation of Mother's Day before it was finally conceded that yes, awright - then, maybe there should be a Father's Day. And so the unofficial celebrations finally became official in 1972.
Guess what? Is not Jamaica that was guilty of this equivocation, you know. Is the great United States that could not make up its mind if and how fathers should be honoured. So maybe this ambivalence about the male parent is something that we have inherited and there is a need to look into how such a thing came to be. For there are places in the world, like Africa, for example, that don't need any proclamation for children to know exactly who and where is dem puppa and for the male parent to know who and what they are responsible for 365 days of the year.
But for now, just speak the truth, how many of us really get excited about Father's Day? Well pat yourself on the back for that bit of honesty. I think I just heard a cash register ring. How is the store doing? Here is another bit of honesty I came across recently in the form of a disclaimer: "Father's Day, contrary to what any believe, was not established as a holiday in order to help greeting card manufacturers sell more cards. In fact when "Father's Day" was first proposed there were no large greeting card manufacturers!"
Nor, we might add, large tie manufacturers, makers of sundry cute tool kits, reduced cell phone calls and the like. Rumour has it that long, long ago, before GCT (Greeting Cards, Cell Phones and Ties) human beings did not rely upon things to show affection, respect, caring. But in the era of deregulation all that changed.
Rumour also has it that some dads are really furious about the whole thing. For one, they are tired of getting gifts that become the property of the entire family. Forget the useless million ties that they do not wear anyway. They are now forced to live with that work of art over the entrance hall table which they really do not understand but which came in a piece of brown paper wrapper marked "Happy Father's Day". And what for heaven's sake is to be done with the barbecue grill?
Who is going to use it and when? And does anyone really except dad enjoy a Father's Day trip to the same fast food joint that he has come to know so well as a result of wanting to give mom some time off from kitchen or maybe because mom herself is caught up in some executive meeting?
Maybe this give-you-something-anything-to-prove-that-I-love-you is dad's own doing. Some people believe that their "nest of skins" grew to such proportions as they heeded the voice to be fruitful and multiply that it became increasingly easier to just "drop off something" like the mailman or the newspaper vendor and move on. That way at least, everyone has a fair chance at a hello from a distance.
Maybe there is something there that might be part of the explanation for the apparent growing conviction among some of our young women that if he did love her he would come over bearing gifts every day or the conviction of some of our young men that unless he can bear gifts he doesn't stand a chance - Kean love without money, according to the old calypso.
And by the way, did you know that, at least according to one account, more collect calls are recorded on Father's Day than on any other day of the year? Poor dad. Especially if all five of his children are scattered between Australia, New Zealand, Switzerland and other far-off regions pursuing higher learning. Or whatever our children pursue when we are not looking.
If Louise Dodd had succeeded in having her way, Father's Day would be celebrated on the first Sunday in June, her father's birthday since she really wanted the world, read America, to know of the heroic deeds of her father in raising six children, his wife having died in childbirth during the sixth attempt. See that? The notion that fathers who participate in the raising of their children or do so single-handedly because of whatever circumstances are doing something "heroic".
Today, somewhere between the greeting cards, shirts, ties, electric razors and the joyous ringing of the cash registers, perhaps we might find another opportunity to re examine how much or how little we expect of our fathers and how much we are willing to give in order to help us all achieve it.
And maybe at the next printing of the handbook Miss Vivien would find more entries under Father and at least one positive for Puppa.
Happy Father's Day.
