Sanya Hughes
Chaos, Freelance Writer
AS I SIT here, I am trying to make sense out of nonsense. Does one plus one really make two? Is everything I know and love merely the product of some being's fevered imagination? Is there really a God? Does love exist?
I'm getting tired of honesty. I am tired of following the dictates of my conscience, of always 'doing the right thing', at least as far as my mind and soul defines the same.
It is a hackneyed cliché the one that says men never understand women, but clichés are just that because they are true. As far as I am concerned, if I'm not a genius, I'm pretty damned close. I can figure out complex algebraic equations in my head, I know bits of obscure trivia that serve absolutely no useful purpose outside of an episode of Jeopardy. I can learn to do anything (once there is a manual written in plain English) in a relatively short space of time. If it is logical, I can handle it, sooner or later.
Which is where my problems with the fairer, stronger sex come in. I do not understand women. I have not a clue as to which way is up where they are concerned. I'm listening to that eminently sensible and indeed classic song by Baz Luhrman (the Australian film director, who has The Fifth Element and Moulin Rouge among other films to credit works of genius all) which, as far as I know, is called Sunscreen. It dispenses advice and yet utterly fails to irritate. There is a line which at the moment I find particularly telling. It says Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
God, I so want to be seduced, made love to and then left alone!
Hey, if anyone reading this is looking for a point, I hate to disappoint I think but I'm not sure there is one. However, let me try. I know nothing, I understand nothing, I am totally clueless when it comes to the opposite sex. Perhaps I base too many of my interactions with the world outside of my own, where I am in complete control, on logic. Everyone knows women do not operate based on logic and it is driving me insane. White rabbits jump out of top hats, the world stops turning and becomes flat, ships sail off the edge to Never-Never Land; a combustion engine is a totally alien idea in a world where I try to understand women.
I am going to be in so much crap after a couple of people read this, but hey I can deal.
As far as I am concerned, either you love or you don't. Either you are attracted to someone or you are not. You like someone, you are totally unmoved by him/her or you hate him/her. There are very few in-betweens. One does not play games with people's hearts or minds. It is an either/or situation and you act accordingly.
Unfortunately, that's my world and nobody else seems to obey the rules. So what to do? Life is a bitch and then you marry one I guess.
I just hope my mother is not reading this.
Another footnote, and I almost feel mean and guilty doing this, but out of sheer curiosity, and since the Miss World competition is nigh and I would hate for anyone to make the same mistakes, I logged on to the Miss Universe (missuniverse.com) website. I mean, the girl did look damn good as far as I am concerned, so I needed to figure out exactly why she had not placed in the top ten. Now the website is extremely useful providing video highlights of the delegates in both swimwear and evening wear. Nothing I saw there gave me any insight into why she did not at least place. Then I clicked on something called the 'Arpeggio Close-Up', which featured video interviews with the contestants. Then all was made clear. First of all, she was asked to sing a few bars from her National Anthem. Her reply was something along the lines of "Well I would love to sing a few words of my national anthem, but honestly I don't think you want to hear me." I could be wrong, but I really do not think that was the best possible answer. Then they asked what is her favourite breakfast food, and I kid you not, her reply was "For breakfast... I love... parridge. In Jamaica we have cornmeal parridge note PARRIDGE which I adore." Now, I have nothing against the Jamaican vernacular, but I do believe it should only be used when speaking to other Jamaicans. Wouldn't want to confuse anyone now, would we?
Comments, questions, rants? Email me at chaos_theory@ureach.com.
