Patricia Watson, Senior Staff Reporter
WHEN HIS soon-to-be father found him, Danielat three years old was the man of his house.
He was the sole nurse of his HIV positive mother who had suffered a stroke and unable to help herself. He carried her water from the pipe outside his house in St. James and lit the fire so she could cook for them both. In addition he carried out any other chores that had to be done around the house. Daniel single-handedly took care of his mother and himself, right up to the point where they were discovered and transferred to the Jamaica AIDS Support (JAS) Hospice in Kingston. It is a picture that has remained transfixed in the minds of those who were present with Daniel's future adopted dad and it is what makes seven-year-old Daniel, an HIV-positive child, so special to his dad, Paul Weir. Daniel is like any other child his age, except that he is mature beyond his age. A stranger will be drawn to the child who seems to have a permanent impish look and quick smile. Two minutes after meeting him, you wish he would stop talking so you can catch your breath. He wants to know if you can read or count and even if you can, there is a hundred per cent chance he will read, draw or count for you. "He is very mature, he was forced to develop. His mind developed from a very early age," his proud Pop told Outlook.
Speaking as if he has been a father for triple times the two years he has been caring for Daniel, Mr Weir allowed us a peek of his softer side. He even chose the name his son should go by for this article.
"He is independent, strong, and bordering on 'hard-ears'. He loves to make things, he is an artist. He is very warm, very loving and very intelligent," he said as if these are natural traits any child of his would have.
Mr. Weir told Outlook that when he met Daniel and his mother, he was moved by the care a child of such a tender age was providing for his sick mother. He said with the help of co-workers and friends, he made arrangements for them to be transported to Kingston to the JAS hospice that was in operation then. While at the hospice, both began to improve significantly to the extent that Daniel started attending school and doing well. When the hospice closed, they were transferred back to St. James in the care of the JAS of Montego Bay.
Mr. Weir said he visited them while they were in Montego Bay, but was concerned that Daniel was not being cared for the way he would have liked. Although Daniel attended a private Catholic School while he was in Kingston, he was refused entry to another Catholic Prep School in the second city.
"We were all concerned about his education we agonised about it and so I stepped in," he stated.
"I have always thought of fostering a child many people kept telling me, why you don't take him, he is just like you he looks like you. So when the opportunity came up, I presented it to his mother to let me take him with me. It was a very difficult decision for her, she didn't want to send him away, but she decided to do it as she felt it was in the best interest of the child."
Mr Weir said it was difficult for Daniel in the initial stage, but began to open up and improve shortly thereafter.
"I remember going away and it was difficult for me because I couldn't take him. He didn't have any birth certificate or any of the necessary papers and I decided then, that as soon as I returned, I would start the legal process. When I came back, his mother died very suddenly, he was five years old."
Since the death of his mother two years ago, Mr. Weir has adopted Daniel as his own, but admits he is really cared for by his family, co-workers and friends.
"My immediate family has been VERY supportive. Daniel is always negotiating with his aunts and uncles. He is treated as one of the nephews and nieces. They spoil him; I've had to ask them not to give him any more toys," he noted. Mr. Weir considers himself lucky to have a supportive network of people, some who work with him and other good friends who act as surrogate aunts and uncles. They pitch in and help to baby-sit, buy medication, and in general, his close-knit community of friends and family treats Daniel very well. Daniel is not aware of his status, as his father does not think he can understand the illness.
"At age seven, he cannot understand HIV separate from cancer or any other illness. We talk about him being ill. We have been very protective of him and we have tried not to expose him to anything that will hurt him," Mr Weir explained.
The doting father claims that Daniel has brought him 'life'. "He has brought 'life' to us, he has taught us to love unconditionally and he has forced us to learn good parenting skills. You see this obstinate child taking risks climbing trees and falling, scratching doors and marking on the walls, and these things get you angry and frustrated, but at the end of the day, there is a very warm place in your heart, after all he is your child," daddy Paul gushed.
Mr. Weir who is single and has no other child, says Daniel taught him and his colleagues to cross some of those boundaries they would not have approached and that so far, fatherhood has been a very fulfilling and rewarding experience.
"I can understand persons who would not want to adopt an HIV positive child. Daniel is not the first positive child I've been close to. I know how devastating it can be when the child dies. It does take a lot out of everybody when the child dies, but we can't just look at the death issue alone. You won't pretend it is not there, but when you use that as the starting point, you will be depriving a child of a substantial life, of happiness."
Mr. Weir feels much more effort needs to be put into getting persons to consider fostering HIV positive children.
"I don't think fostering of HIV positive children is pushed hard enough. I know of several people who are interested in fostering and I understand that the Jamaica AIDS Support is trying to set up something," he noted. In the meantime, he is encouraging persons who are able to offer happiness to children affected by or infected with HIV to think seriously about foster parenting.
Names changed upon request.
