She said: Let off the maintenance money
"IT'S NOT that women are selfish and unreasonable. It's not that we want to save our own money and spend the man's money on our hair, nails and new clothes and shoes. No, it's just that a man is responsible for his woman. He's supposed to take care of her and a woman must require of him that he lives up to this responsibility."
This was the opinion of most of the women Flair spoke to about whether a man should give a woman 'maintenance money', to take care of her personal needs even if they both earn the same amount of money and if the man was taking care of some of the household bills.
Most women gave a resounding, "Yes! Of course! Hell, yes!", but had no argument to back up their position except to say "that's just the way it's supposed to be" and that "what we are earning has nothing to do with it."
Other women took it a step further: "They are the ones who want us to look good and wear the latest and the best, so them must spend," were the words of one young lady. "Plus, men don't really spend money on themselves, one pair of shoes can last them the whole year but we have hair, nails and several pairs of shoes to buy so why not spend the money on us?" she asked with a broad, isn't-that-obvious, smile.
"If he doesn't want to spend someone else will," warned another working young woman.
Others thought "maintenance money" was the man's way of paying back for "the services" the woman has rendered to him.
One woman who took a few minutes from her snack stall to talk to us put it this way: "The woman have to wash for him and cook, she have to keep him clean. Him supposed to give her a little smalls to encourage her, of course!"
"That money is the woman's compensation for her bedroom service," said one young woman. "At least at the end of the day she can't feel like she was used."
She added that her grandmother had warned the women in her family that "if you're going to have sex with a man look for your legacy first. In other words, you can't just have sex with a man for the pleasure of it. You have to use your head and look at what you can get out of it."
Not so, said a number of other women we spoke to. Sex, they noted, is how you express your love for a man. It's not something money can buy and they refuse to sell.
"If a woman expects 'maintenance money' from a man because she's having sex with him, that's prostitution," explained one woman.
"If he wants to, he can give the woman money to take care of her personal needs, said another, "but he shouldn't be compelled to do it. I see no reason why women shouldn't use their own money to take care of themselves."
He said: What's mine... is mine!
Leonardo Blair, Staff Reporter
CALL ME stingy but I ain't giving my hard earned money to my spouse, or any woman for that matter, to go shopping for herself, unless it's her birthday if we are earning equal pay.
Tradition or no tradition, she'll have to leave me if 'her share' of my cash is her motivation to be in a relationship with me. I already know that money can't buy me love and that "love can't put pot pon fire."
So, all things being equal, we'll share the bills, pay the mortgage, care for the kids. I'll buy her gifts, take her to dinner and I'll take out the trash but my cash won't be leaving my pockets for her to spend just because she is "supposed to get it."
Just giving a woman 'pocket' money out of tradition in that manner is like trying to carry an able-bodied man on your back. It only brings more stress on men than we already have, and I say down with that. Don't try climbing onto my back unless you plan to fly.
And I'm not the only man who thinks so.
"No! I don't see the sense in giving her if we are earning the same or on par," said 20-year-old Nicholas Francis. "Maybe she will save hers and use the pocket money I give her to do her spending. Who to tell, she would be driving a car whilst I'm walking."
Nineteen-year-old Johann Geddes, who works as a credit clerk, also disagrees to some extent with the idea. "No, (if we are getting equal pay) she would have to use her own money. I might give her money once in a while but not every month. That's not necessary," he said, although he feels that some women might find 'Joe.'
I say run to Joe, if that's how you feel. You can even fly and trip on your face if you have to. Like 35-year-old soldier, Courtney Hyde, I think that kind of behaviour on women in this situation is truly "depraved."
"No man, that would be a depraved kind of attitude," he said. "If everything is the same, me wi give her a ting when holiday come but nuh every month. That would simply mean she would be the gainer all the time."
The day women thronged the streets and protested for equal rights and opportunity and demanded freedom from housewifely duties is the day they gave up their right for a personal share in men's pockets.
Many of them are now coming into relationships with a list of things they will not be doing such as washing, cooking and cleaning. They want washing machines, maids and the list goes on. That's fine with me, but just know that after all the essential bills and the relevant requisite expenditure are taken care of, your 'former' payment for 'work done' will be made to the maid. Whatever other duties have been performed will be considered an act of love.
Speaking of love, I fell in love with Beyonce Knowles of Destiny's Child when I heard her sing that "Independent Woman" song, especially that section where the songbirds belt, "I bought it."
Women can now buy their own shoes, their own cars and their own clothes.
If she is getting much less than I am earning I have no problem in HELPING her to take care of those things, but if we are earning equal pay she had better learn to sing, "I bought it."
What's mine is mine and what's yours is yours after we pay the bills.
