By Jennifer Keane-Dawes 
Jennifer Keane-Dawes
Me dear mam:
DE OTHER day me an me fahda siddung a foreign an a talk bout foreign pickney. An him gi out how it look like dem spwile bad. For look how special bus come a dem gate, block traffic weh haffi compulsory tan up deh, an wait pon dem till dem walk een one by one. Suh me dear mam, wid him yeye ball a wonder if a really suh dem ya foreign pickney dress ga school. Wid de gal dem eena suck on trousis, high heel boot an lipstick. An de man dem, weh fava any belly swanga headmassa, lean up one side een a de tie head an trousis weh drape roun dem like fitted sheet. Well, as me fahda begin fe question a wah teacha really tell dem deh pickney when dem appear up pon government premises inna dem deh condition, mejust pinch him an mek him know how yardie like meself hangle sityation.
An de way is dis wedda dem call we citizen yay, or citizen nay. When push come to shove. Especially when we huppen we mout an de yardie accent drap outta it. As me seh, when push come to shove, Backra country a nuh fe we. Suh dat be de case, we haffi memba seh we come ya fe drink milk. We nuh come ya fe count cow.
An mark yu, nuh get me wrang. But de milk weh we come ya fe drink a nuh sinting weh a flow an we can go tek bucket dipy up. 
It sell a store by de pint, gallon or half gallon. An if yu want de honey fe go widy, yu haffi ask smady a which shelf de honey pack pon. An when yu pick up a bottle a it, yu wi see de big price pon it.
But me dear mam, me seh all dis fe seh das a nuh lilly bit a cow we haffi avoid fram count. Like for example which part nuff a we wuk. Missis, when hours beat, nuh matter how yu hear all de foreign smady a go roun an roun de room bout dem a discuss dis an dat, missis ma, try nuh dip mout in deh. Listen. An all when yu hear dem a chat de heap a foolishness, kibba de mout said way. An if needs be, buss a grin here an a next grin there. An den back it upwid a shake head in agreement. An if a next yardie, or a next foreigner siddung roun de said table, dis mek yu an dem yeye mek four. An kip oonoo own private meeting.
Suh tek for example yardie wuk at a place weh dem a go kip meeting fe decide fe buy more broom.
Manager: "A call dis meeting to hawda cause we need fe buy few more broom."
Foreign worker: "A hope nubaddy naw expect me fe sweep nuh weh!"
Next foreign worker: "Time too hot fe sweep suh it nuh spell sense nuh broom buy."
Next one: "A lass week me hab surgery an dactah seh me hab tendinitis."
Yardie (siddung oneside a grin wid ebrybaddy. But a wonder if smady coulda really lazy suh. But seen as how fe him bread dry same way, him kip him mout shet. But lock yeye wid either Missa Chin or Miss Gupta when come from India lass month).
Manager: "A which part we did haw da de broom dem fram rightly?"
Foreign worker: "Mek we fine out an sen a heemail."
Foreign worker: "Nuhbadda wid de heemail for me computer down."
Yardie (tired a de heap a go roun come roun) "Tell me something, wah wrang widde broom dem we we hab?"
Manager: "Dem a fringe out."
Yardie: "Tell yu wah, me wi trim dem up suh we can use dem."
Ebrybaddy quiet same time. Till meeting done. An de next ting yu hear is how yardie come fram him country fe come tek weh manager wuk. An das why dem cyan stan Missa Chin nor Miss Gupta for de whole a dem a de said ting.
Suh me dear mam, yu understand why we seh we come ya fe drink milk. We nuh come ya fe count cow?
Tek Care!
- Dr. Jennifer Keane-Dawes is Director of Graduate Studies at Norfolk State University in Virginia.
