Shoes courtesy of Collectibles, the Mall Plaza, Constant Spring Road, St. Andrew. - Carlington Wilmot /Freelance Photographer
Bags: These Jack Spade utility bags are available at Barneys, Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus, in New York. Look around for similar finds in local stores. - ContributedPAULINE JAMESis bored, bored, bored. The 30-year-old cosmetologist has been dating Peter Malcolmsonfor nearly a year. He has a steady job as an accountant, takes home a decent salary, treats her nicely and, while he's not Champs model material, he's well, nice.
Therein lies the problem. He's too nice, Pauline explains, contorting her face into a scowl as she tried to explain why she was thinking of ending the relationship.
"He's just not exciting," she adds, trying to expand on her explanation. "He's always so available so safe so boring. We never do anything exciting beyond going to the movies and everything is always so repetitive," she says, expelling her breath loudly.
On the other hand, Jennifer Crawford, a secretary at a large company in Kingston, has had a co-worker tripping over his feet and tongue to get her attention. Tim, her co-worker is always lingering around her desk, trying to make conversation, she says. "Sometimes I don't really know what on earth he's talking about."
Crawford says she's flattered by the attention but "he comes on a bit too strong kind of desperate. He's a nice guy but there's nothing intriguing about him. He has an ordinary job and doesn't seem to go out much."
Nice. For most men that word cuts almost as deeply as the phrase "let's just be friends."
"It means that you're average ... just part of the background for her," explains one 27-year-old man. "You could score eventually, because at least she doesn't think you're a villain but (if you do) it would take a very long time."
Some women love to walk on the wild side, even if it means risking a broken heart by dating a bad boy. It's dangerous, exciting, and interesting. While some women date these rebels for a change of pace, most of them are intrigued by the tough exterior it's a challenge.
5 WAYS FOR A GOOD GUY TO COME OUT AHEAD
So what can a nice guy do to measure up and create some excitement? Here are five ways to incorporate a little bad boy into the dating game:
Don't come on so strongly
Think of it as running a 1500-metre race. If you go all out in the first 100 metres, you won't have much left in you to finish the race -- and you will have betrayed yourself as an amateur. So, to look as if you know how to run the race, pace yourself.
In plain words: If in the beginning, you call us all the time and bury us in flowers, we're going to think it's too much too fast. That's a major turn off. Bad boys know that a healthy distance makes the prize more valuable. We can't pin down a bad boy, which makes us want him even more. The key is not to be rude or appear that you don't care.
Women want a strong man
I mean, let's face it, while we appreciate your sensitive side, we really don't want to see you breaking down and crying at the drop of a hat. When push comes to shove, many women will admit that they'd choose Wesley Snipes over Spike Lee. It's not the brawn that's the draw, but the supreme self-confidence. A bad boy doesn't doubt his sex appeal (or even stop to consider it), and that makes him sexy. This kind of tough confidence, though, is most enduring when we eventually get to break through it to reveal a man's true soft side -- but not on a first date.
Women want a man who takes charge
Now read our lips: Women do not want men who follow us around. However, we like a man who sees the world and tries to change it, either by running the company instead of working for it, confronting a problem instead of whining about it, or creating something instead of criticising others.
The successful bad boy is bold, takes risks, and isn't afraid of failure.
Don't be so predictable
Develop a sense of adventure -- skinny dipping, a midnight brunch, a motorcycle ride with the wind blowing in our hair, an afternoon quickie instead of lunch. You get the idea -- sometimes you need to live in the moment.
So keep your steady, predictable job, but add some spontaneous zest to your love life.
Women want to be seduced
The bad boy makes his date feel like a goddess -- the only girl in the room. So take us out for a sultry evening of jazz and blues, fine wine (please, not Wincarnis Tonic Wine). A slow dance where he leans in, touches us, and makes long, slow eye contact, is enough to make us melt.
So now you know, make some "bad" moves and put a little oomph in your love life. There's nothing better than a bad boy who sticks around...even if he was only pretending to be bad.
Names changed by request
...nice shoes
IF SHOES can make the man, you want to give these square-toed dress shoes a go -- they are the trendy footwear for men in the know
If you want to be a 'shoe-in' in her heart, you need to keep reading.
Whether you want to admit it or not, shoes play an important role in a man's wardrobe. When a woman gives you the once over, and does a double take at your feet, she is not merely calculating the size of your you-know-what, she is checking to see if you have style.
Nice shoes aren't only an essential part of your 'first impression arsenal' when it comes to women, they are also crucial when applying for a job, and hitting the club scene with friends.
The new 'lick' when it comes to shoes and casual chic is the square-toed shoe. "I don't know exactly when they came in but I just find the square cut sexy, I love to see men in them," said Syreta, a store clerk at Collectibles in Mall Plaza, St. Andrew.
These fall in the vein of the modern versatile shoe that can pass for both dressy and less formal occasions. They are also versatile enough to wear with just about everything -- shorts to jeans to a suit.
Some of the more popular brands include the Kenneth Cole, Timberland and Giovanni brands.
"They have different styles from the normal shoes, the designs are unusual, you have the regular ones and the cut-off heel ones. The good thing about them is they can be formal and casual at the same time. Wear one with a jeans and a dress shirt, and you can be casually elegant," said Syreta.
Square-toed shoes aren't the 'sole' way to win over your woman's heart, but they certainly are a step in the right direction.
...nice bags
BAGS BUILT for men, like this caramel-coloured saddle leather utility bag and highland plaid utility bag, mean you no longer have to rely on your woman to stuff everything in her purse.
When buying, look for squarish, masculine lines, sturdy handles and interior that's well lined. For a touch of luxury, leather is always a winner.
