Going from Braeton, Portmore, to Spanish Town, St. Catherine, reporter Claude Mills wonder out loud if he has made the right move.Claude Mills, Staff Reporter
I MUST admit I wasn't quite ready to make the move from Braeton Phase III (Portmore, St. Catherine) -- the place I had called home for more than two decades -- to Angels Estate, Spanish Town, St. Catherine.
After all, this was Spanish Town, the place my friends refer to in hushed, sober, almost reverential tones as 'Gun Town'. Over the years, my visits to Spanish Town have been thankfully brief excursions to the smelly market, to pay bills and, once, to testify in a small courthouse in the Braeton Inquest.
One thing has been consistent -- it is a decidedly unpleasant experience. Spanish Town, for the uninitiated, is an ugly pre-historic little town, cursed with a maze of narrow labyrinth-like streets, and dilapidated brick buildings masquerading as history.
Who gives a flying #@$ about the fact that the town is more than 450 years old, has exquisite architecture in the town square, important architecture and ya-di-ya-ya?
I know, I know. Yeah, it has an impressive list of firsts including the postal and railway systems, The iron bridge, Anglican Cathedral, and Emancipation Square, but driving through the town at night or in the morning is not a terrific experience. The traffic is molasses-slow, the same as in Portmore but with the x-factor of smelly beggars shaking you down for money while you stew in your car.
I've been caught in three roadblocks in the general Spanish Town area since I've moved, and there was a recent news report of a car jacking which had the stuff of a Wild West legend. Still, who am I to complain?
In the last decade of my residential life in Braeton Phase III, two people hung themselves, and another 18 died violently within the borders of the community -- seven cut down by policemen less than 30 metres from my house. Still, I miss the place, how's that for deeply weird?
Angels II can't be much worse than the slow-motion nightmare that Braeton has been, can it? However, my new community boasts streets with Italian names like Juventus, Verona, Torino, and some other macho Mafia-sounding names. Do you have any idea what might happen in the next couple of years in our copycat culture? Come on, you've seen the Sopranos on the HBO.
Plus, we have no landlines in the community. Luckily, I have walked right into a brewing war between Gotel which has a foothold in the community and C & W which, bloodied by Digicel, has awoken from its indifference and has begun digging up the streets to put in lines of their own last week.
I am waiting to see who is left standing before I make my choice of telecom carrier. Competition is a mother, isn't it?
FOWL KILLING
My friends keep insisting that I have a house opening of some sort. This is just a lame excuse to come and suck down all the liquor I have been stockpiling in the last few months and to score a free meal. They repeatedly warn me of the Jamaican myths surrounding construction sites. Why?
They want me to indulge in some ancient ritual of murdering a white fowl, spreading its blood at the four corners outside the house, and sprinkling white rum to ward off evil spirits and prevent accidents.
No way, Jose.
My neighbours seem pretty ok so far. No loud music and late night orgies so far, but I can't stand the animals. Every morning I open my door to find fresh, steaming cow patties on the grass in my front yard like curious lawn ornaments. It is not a moo-ving experience I like much.
Just last week, the neighbourhood family of donkeys (mama, papa, and two baby donkeys) kicked over my trashcan and nosed through it. When I tried to shoo them away, they looked at me as though they were examining a recently discovered bug under the laboratory microscope as if to say: what's HIS problem?
Obviously, they don't know whom they're messing with. But they shall -- very soon. Last time I checked, donkeys weren't an endangered species. So at this point, I am not quite sure I'm enjoying the move just yet. But when I find out, you'll be the first to know.
MOVE IT!
Tips from professional movers for a safe, pleasant and hassle-free (as much as is possible) move.
1. Two weeks before your, start packing/sorting. If you are doing the packing yourself start as soon as you can, and certainly no later than two weeks before moving day.
2. Notify your bank and other agencies of your change of address. You might want to consider transferring your account to a branch nearer to your new home. Don't forget to notify any card protection insurers that you may have.
3.Arrange for the children to be looked after on moving day. If that's not possible, organise a corner of the lounge with some of their toys and a few treats. Older children may want specific tasks, like packing up their own personal box.
4. Give your landlord appropriate notice or tell tenants of any change of landlord. Contact utility companies. Advise them of your new address and date of removal. Remember to include your Internet Service Provider and arrange to have your regular mail re-directed by the post office.
5. Make arrangements for your pets to stay with a friend, relative or neighbour that they feel comfortable with during the move, as they may be upset by strange people coming into their house to do the removal. You will also be able to concentrate on the stressful business of moving house without the added worry of looking after your dog or cat.
If you are planning to move a long distance away and your dog or cat suffers from travel sickness or severe anxiety in the car, talk to your vet about medication to make the journey less stressful for them.
6.Empty, defrost and dry out your fridge/freezer. This is most important if your furniture is to go into storage or travel over a long distance. Failure to do this means it will defrost on its own in the removal vehicle, leaking over everything around it. If you want to move your freezer with it contents (only applies to short distances) put the contents into plastic bags so they can be lifted out when the freezer is being carried and placed back inside with the minimum of fuss.
7.Go through the kitchen cupboards and throw out anything that is out of date. Also, while you are there, check to make sure all the packets, bottles and jars are sealed tightly to avoid spills.
8.Either write out directions or draw a plan on how to get to your new address, including a contact number. Make sure that your mobile phone is fully charged for moving day, you are probably going to need it.
9.Unless you have arranged with the removal company, you will be expected to dismantle any self-assembly furniture that cannot be moved in one piece. Once the removal vehicle is loaded, take a walk around to ensure that all the items are on board. It is your responsibility to make sure nothing is left behind. Check behind doors, in cupboards and on the walls. You would be surprised how often people keep looking at a clock on the wall, but never remember to take it down. Check that all the windows and doors are locked when you leave.
10. Inside. Drain excess water from household plant pots. Line a carton with plastic sheeting, a bin liner will do, and stand your plants inside. If the pots are breakable, separate them with newspaper and clearly label the box "breakable". Keep the lid open so the moving team can see that there are plants inside, and they wont stack anything on top.
You can e-mail me at claudemillsy@gleanerjm.com
