By Lorna Goode, ContributorIT HAS become increasingly apparent to me that I need an urgent answer to the question, 'Where are all the good men?' All you single ladies, do not hide your conscience, you have been asking this question too. Therefore, I write not only for myself, but also for you.
The men I have encountered while dating had me wondering whether I attracted only the peripatetic. Numerous discussions with girlfriends and other single women have highlighted that this is the usual..
It seems to me that the gentlemen (I use this very loosely) of today are not interested in friendship. By this I mean, really getting to know an individual, spending time in conversation in order to uncover the true character of a person and assessing compatibility. It is just sex, sex and more sex. I am beginning to think that most men of today believe that women should eternally be in heat.
Let me give you a few examples, then you can determine the truth.
Members of the opposite sex meet and telephone numbers are exchanged. A number of telephone conversations take place on the first day. Also on the very first day the "gentleman" wants to be invited over and is offering a relaxation massage.
Old acquaintances are renewed. In the first or second telephone conversation, the "gentleman" wants to engage in telephone sex.
A couple goes on a date for the first time. At the end of the date (usual time 11:00 p.m. or later), she is taken home and her date expects to be invited in. He is offended when he is not. (Really now, what did he expect?)
Situations like the above make me wonder, what are these men thinking? Where are men from? Do they hail from Pluto, the furthest planet from earth?
Believe me, I have been on this earth 32 years and I am yet to truly understand men.
Where are the ones like those in long-lasting marriages? Where are the ones who enjoy a walk in the park or along the beach? Where are the ones who enjoy a picnic or just a drive through the country? Where are those who enjoy just hanging out with friends? Where are the ones who enjoy innocent conversations?
A friend of mine once said the true test of a friendship happens when silence is comfortable -- experiencing the other party's essence without the spoken word.
Please, do not misinterpret frustration as man bashing, companionship with a good man is a wonderful experience. After friendship (the getting to know you phase), ladies, you will agree with me when I say that there is nothing more erotic than lying in the arms of a man, basking in the after glow of blissful lovemaking.
Let me be fair, ladies we should share the blame. We are the mothers, we train boys to be the men that they grow up to become. As participants in the dating game, we are the ones to set the pace of a relationship. Too many times I have heard women regretting becoming intimate with a man too soon. It is time for those of us condemning polygamy, to let those cheaters go.
Gentlemen, those of you who are brave enough to read this, it is time to reassure me and all other single women that all is not lost. Reassure us that we will not have to settle for only a life of social service and 'aunties' to our friends with children. Nor do we want to become professional students just to fill the void.
Good men, are you there? Just knock, the door will be opened.
