By Mel Cooke, Freelance Writer
Left, Owen 'Blacka' Ellis, at right Ity AND Fancy Cat
WESTERN BUREAU:
APACHE AND Sammy Question left the Caribbean Showplace speechless with laughter as they closed 'Comedy Startime' on Saturday night.
Capping off a sequence in which Sammy as the 'blue seam, red seam, police, security, soldier' commanded Apache to imitate some entertainers, they came to Michael Jackson.
"Ha, run the rhythm please," Apache said, in a perfect 'Wacko Jacko' falsetto. The Diwali, on which he had done Lady Saw's If De Man Lef started, and all waited to see which Michael Jackson song he would do.
They waited. And waited. And waited, as Apache stared into space.
The 'blue seam, red seam, police, security, soldier' lost patience, brandished his baton and demanded why there was no singing.
"Yu no know Speechless?" Apache enquired incredulously.
The audience howled.
It was the final gasp of laughter for an audience that was packed to the rafters in the Ironshore, Montego Bay, St. James, venue. If the size of the audience was any indication of the second city's need for laughter, they got it and more in the Jamco Production, hosted by Oliver Samuels.
Although it was clearly indicated that Comedy Startime was for adults only, a significant number of minors were inside the Caribbean Showplace. While Bobby 'Inspector Madden' Smith and Mas Jasper were the raunchiest of the performers, the lighter side of Owen 'Blacka' Ellis, Ity and Fancy Cat, as well as Apache and Sammy Question, seemed to rub the funny bones of the audience just a wee bit harder.
One of Montego Bay's own, Screechie, opened the show. He danced to hip-hop, Gimme The Light and other hits, demonstrating the 'Higher Level' and other dances, his deformed hands flailing. He did not laugh once throughout his presentation, concentrating fully on what he was doing.
Screechie left with a touch of R&B and MC Oliver Samuels commented: "Mi tink him very brave an' him can dance too. Isn't it wonderful how he uses his disadvantage? A nuff more - unfortunately - a siddung a dem yard. Screechie, yu madda mus love yu."
So too, apparently, did the audience.
Calvin 'Mas Jasper' Morris asked for two ladies, one fat the other slim, to come on-stage. Running a balloon-blowing contest between them, the bigger lady blew too hard and hers flew from her mouth and off the stage. "Blow. Show dem sey yu use to it," Jasper instructed the other lady.
Mass Jasper's presentation concentrated mostly on 'do so by guttering' - sex of course.
He earned himself an encore.
Owen 'Blacka' Ellis discussed his country, saying that he was in New York recently and asked all the Jamaicans present to hold up their hands. All hands went up. He added 'legally' and they all came down.
"Jamaica is the best country to run from - I mean, come from," he said.
He commented on the different treatment women and men get, saying that the ultimate was in the bathroom. The ladies room is always comfortable, while the men's room leaves much to be desired. "I always go to the male bathroom. It mark female, and I am male," he said.
Ity and Fancy Cat competed for a lady's attention, one dropping the lyric: "Baby, I am Sagittarian, half-man, half-horse. Baby, you bring out the horse in me."
In his comeback, the other half of the duo said to the lady: "You dropped something? That's our conversation. Let's pick it up after the show."
The audience loved it.
They also squeezed in a comedic but serious touch on domestic abuse.
Inspector Madden was a raunchy riot, mentioning how a real Jamaican would advise George Bush on the Iraq matter. Suffice to say that it had something to do with gays in the United States military and the Muslim prayer position.
He also cleared up some Royal Palm Estate matters from early. "Mi run dung Tiney Winey because dem pay me, me poison Irving an' Sonny T betta pay me dat..." he said.
Apache and Sammy Question put the crowning sheen on Comedy Startime with a fantastic routine in which the former played the buffoon to the more serious Sammy. A typical exchange had Sammy asking "Which school yu go?" "St. Catherine All-Age High School," was the reply. "How yu fi put all-age inna high school?" Sammy demanded.
"Mi go a de upstairs part," was the answer.
