By Suzann Dodd, ContributorA TECHIE was called in because the computer 'died'. He entered the office to see the patient and noticed that the lights were on the computer and monitor but there was no picture.
He looked at the monitor a few moments and noticed a strong smell of Lysol. He told his watchers to step out and let him work and when he was alone he stuck out a finger and turned the little dial which adjusts the brightness of the monitor. He then wrote a bill for $1,700 + 15 per cent G.C.T. for 'recalibrating video resolution.'
A company got a phone call from a customer that the 'cup holder' on the computer had broken off. The geeks tried to figure out if the customer had got this computer at some special promotion, but the answer was 'no'.
They were trying to figure out what they were being asked and had the customer describe exactly where on the computer this 'cupholder' was located. Eventually, they realised it was the CD drive.
Another customer demanded that the techie come to his office and remove the defective machine. The customer described how the computer wouldn't work, and he, knowing a little about electronics, opened the back and found that the manufacturers hadn't removed the 'packing tape' from the wires and had done so himself but the computer still didn't work. (For non-geeks, there is no packing tape).
I received a phone call from someone who complained that he couldn't get on the Internet. I went over his ISP, the connections from the computer to the modem to the wall jack, everything seemed to be in perfect order. Then I asked him how many phone lines he had. One, he replied. (For non-geeks, he couldn't get on the Internet 'cause he was talking over the line).
Years ago, three eminent geeks worked for hours trying to get the modem to connect to the Internet at 56k. No matter what they did it was 14.4. Finally, it was discovered that the modem was a 14.4.
These are just a few of the amusements of cyberworld.
Suzann Dodd is a writer and an attorney.
