Dolphy-Clarke
Lolita Long, New York Editor
"How can a mother's tender love cease towards the child she bears?"
"I'VE WALKED the road of poverty, I know hard times, I've lived and experienced it, I have suffered like Jesus Christ, worked my fingers to the bone, and you know what? I did it all for my children. Today I am so proud of them and what they are doing for themselves and the United States that I am the happiest mother on this planet."
Strong words from businesswoman Paulette Dolphy-Clarke who, on this Mother's Day, will reflect on her four sons, three U.S. Marines who fought in the recent Iraq-U.S. war and are still deployed in Iraq, and one still stationed in Japan. She will spend some time away from her Jamaica food shop, which is tucked in the heart of the Hudson Valley in upstate New York. The 'West Indies and Natural Foods' shop on the outskirts of Albany, New York's capital, is the only West Indian store in that area.
Known unofficially as the 'Hudson ambassador' because of the number of high profile Government officials with whom she interacts, Mrs. Clarke placed all her customers on hold despite the one or two who wanted curry goat or oxtail and spoke candidly about her suffering days from Mt. Salem, Montego Bay, to the brutal inner cities of Jungle and Waterhouse, and how she faced starvation in Florida.
GREATEST JOY
"My greatest joy now surrounds my boys. I am so glad that this war is over, as every day was a living nightmare for me knowing that I could lose all my boys in one sweep. Three were deployed and one stationed in Japan was to be deployed. I couldn't take the stress and I cried and begged my Congressman to act on my behalf and not to send him as I already had three other sons in Iraq," she said.
Her wishes were granted.
The news that her four sons Owen Headman, Audley Higgins, Ragland Higgins, and Shane Noble were serving, made headline news in the county's local paper. She was congratulated for 'raising fine boys' and has since been receiving special treatment from the local authority.
So, she has reasons to celebrate this Mother's Day. Her fifth boy, 14-year-old Kevin Clarke, whom she has with husband Ken, is "my baby boy that I am holding onto."
Things did not always go as the young Paulette had planned. As a young girl in Montego Bay, she created history by being the first of two girls to be admitted to the Montego Bay Boys School. They were roses among the thorns and both students and teachers meted out special treatment to them. With an innate talent for bookkeeping, she started doing the subject at a commercial school, but the issue of teenage pregnancy reared its ugly head. Owen was born in 1973 and she tried to help herself by knitting baskets and selling at the Montego Bay Straw market. The next year, 1974, Audley was born; and still a third child, Ragland, came in 1975 and "my parents and the rest of the family gave up on me".
SHUNNED
She was shunned, or, maybe, it was tough love. While the family lived in fairly opulent fashion, the young Paulette lived in a one-room shack with her three boys scared, and insecure. Sometimes, she says, she would capture "government house, and live there until I was caught."
Six years later, Paulette admitted that she didn't learn her lesson as yet.
"I met the best body (car) work man and boops... I was pregnant again with Shane," she said.
The best way to beat the odds was to move to Kingston. That she did and lived between Waterhouse and Arnett Gardens (Jungle) in St. Andrew.
But it was a myth!
"That was when the hard life started. I used to sell pineapple on the streetside and I would hustle and work at the Big Five Hotel. I worked so hard but I was not making any progress, so my aunt, who lived on Collie Smith Drive helped me to migrate," she recalled.
Migration to the U.S. would not make it any easier for the young woman. The tearful separation from her children, who were now farmed out to various relatives, coupled with the stress of a new culture, failed promises from friends and relatives, thrown out from a basement apartment, proved too much for her to bear.
"I thought that was the end of the road. I was so depressed," she wailed.
Yet with determination, she picked apples, corn, worked on a farm, did housework "just about anything to survive and keep me from starvation."
Like thousands of others before and after her, Paulette was not a legal resident, but that status changed in 1989, and the first thing she did was to file for her children back in Jamaica. Their Green Cards were granted three years later. It was a moment that she has relived over and over.
"When I went to get them some of the conditions I saw them in made me cry. They used to be hungry and they said sometimes they had no sugar to sweeten the tea. And I know I used to send money regularly for them thinking they were OK. But you know what, I am grateful to all of my relatives who looked after them. My father was good to them and took them to church and was very strict with them, so I am thankful," she explained.
DREAMS
All four boys had dreams and hopes of graduating from college. They all completed high school and started studies at the Utica College. Financial difficulties forced them into the U.S. Marine Corps.
Owen, a communications specialist, is still in the Middle East; Audley, a mechanic, is in Kuwait; Raglan is with the supplies division also in Kuwait; and Shane, in telecommunications, has been stationed in Japan for the past three years.
"I have not seen my children since January, and I really wish they were here with me for this Mother's Day," she said in between serving a customer. "But I have my daughters-in-law, my grandchildren, sisters, especially Faye, brothers and relatives who will make sure I have a wonderful day."
Emotionally, she says, she worries, but pretends they are around. "Once my children are all right, I know I will be all right too." Physically, "I'm fine. My business is doing good, I can feed myself and my family, my husband is supportive, and I give back something to those who helped me along the way. I will never forget them as long as life last. I don't want anybody to suffer along life's way the way I did."
