By Michelle Barrett, Freelance writer
ANNETTE DUNN, is a 38-year-old administrative assistant who, for most of her professional life, has pursued several courses of study to advance her career.
During her early 20s and 30s her maternal instincts were reserved for her many nieces and nephews who would often spend weekends and holidays with her. Then one day, those adoring little nieces and nephews became adults themselves, taking on their own responsibilities.
"It was then I realised that I needed a child of my own so this was as perfect a time as any to get pregnant. When I was younger, I was so caught up with doing all the courses, getting the house, getting the car and searching for that perfect soul mate that time just slipped away," she explained.
Now that she has accomplished her goals and met her life partner, she is ready to take on the role of motherhood. Dunn is four months pregnant but although she is happy, she is also cautious about her pregnancy.
"I'm treating this pregnancy like an egg this time around considering that I went through a miscarriage two years ago. So now I'm extra careful with this one as I want to carry it to full term."
"When I got pregnant the first time, I was trying really hard and lost it, so I decided I wasn't going to try again. This time it just happened and I am so excited about it."
Dunn is among a growing population of women over 35 who have delayed motherhood to pursue their career goals and to satisfy other desires like buying a house, a car, perhaps a sports utility vehicle, and other material possessions. Some women wait until they are certain that they can afford to support a child.
INTERRUPTING PLANS
"The thought of having children often crossed my mind when I was in my 20s, but I wanted to finish my studies, have my own business, own a house and be able to take care of a child," five-month pregnant 39-year-old Marie Segré told Flair. "Sometimes, I even thought of interrupting my plans to have children and then resume pursuing my goals, but I just didn't meet the right person."
This is Segré's second pregnancy. She had her first child, a daughter when she was 32 years old.
Most women, on reaching their late 20s without children, are often pressured by friends and relatives to "hurry up and have a baby because time is running out".
"During my 20s, my mother and sister bothered me a lot about having a child. I just ignored them because I knew exactly what I wanted and having a baby was not a part of my plans," said Segré.
In most inner-city communities, women are lauded for having children in their teens and early 20s. Those who become pregnant in their 30s are often jeered because they are considered too old for childbearing. Behavioural experts argue that a girl living in the ghetto who has a child immediately after leaving high school, signifies that she is not a "mule" and is capable of becoming a "baby mother" hence making her eligible to get a male partner within that same community.
Keisha Cameronis 32 years old and recently had her second daughter at the Victoria Jubilee Hospital. "When I was admitted, the sister in charge of the ward carried me to a different section away from the younger mothers who were 20 and younger. I was a bit taken aback, but she explained to me that since I was more mature, she thought I would feel better with fellow patients who were closer to my age."
FEELING YOUNGER AND STRONGER
Segré, however, said that the thought of being old and pregnant has not crossed her mind, and added that now she feels younger and stronger than when she was in her early 20s.
"I am much more active and have more energy than I did with my first pregnancy. I operate a wholesale/retail business and I have not slowed down since I've got pregnant. I still get up early and tend to my business. When I go home in the evening, I still have the time and energy to play with my eight-year-old daughter," she explained animatedly.
Segré further added that she was born when her mother was 37. Two years later her mother had another daughter and still two years after that she bore a son.
"We were all healthy and active children. So this goes to show that your prospects don't have to be grim when you find yourself pregnant in your late 30s. The expectant mother just needs to take care of herself and visit the doctor regularly," Segré added.
Gaudia Chevannes-Aquart, operator of Nirvana Day Spa in St. Andrew, never dreamed that after having her first child at 22, that she would be pregnant again 17 years later.
"This pregnancy came as a complete surprise to both my husband and myself. In December when I missed my period and did the home pregnancy test, I saved the results, bought a Christmas card and gave them to him as a Christmas gift," smiled Chevannes-Aquart.
The 39-year-old aesthetician noted that while this would be her second child, this would be her husband's first. She noted, however, that the pregnancy has not all been smooth sailing as she presently has uterine fibroids.
"It's not threatening at the moment, but my doctor and I are keeping a close watch on it. Despite this, I haven't had any major problems. I just feel a bit more tired now and getting up in the mornings is sometimes difficult, but I'm taking it easy so far."
MIXED REACTION TO PREGNANCY
Chevannes-Aquart added that she had been receiving mixed reactions from the public. While some people see her as just another pregnant woman, others tend to snub her for being almost 40 and pregnant.
"I teach a Personal Development class at a co-ed high school and what I have noticed is that the boys don't think I'm old as they are supportive and encouraging, while the girls seem to think otherwise. You get that feeling from their reactions," she added.
"My friends also make jokes that sometimes make me think of the whole age factor, but what I can do? It's not something that we planned, it just happened and we just have to live with it."
She advises women who are in their 30s and considering motherhood to go ahead and do it as they would already have done the party scene and accomplished their goals. "This means they have more time now to focus on the child," she reasoned.
Diana Davis-Smith, a new mother at 38, described her experience as wonderful. Smith, the General Manager at Total Credit Services Limited, is the mother of a seven-week old baby, who said that she has no regrets.
"The men kept calling to me when I was pregnant, my co-workers assisted me whatever way they could. My relatives, friends kept on giving me useful advice and just having a healthy baby through normal delivery is enough reward ," she said.
Names have been changed upon request.
