By Claude Mills, Staff Reporter
Nadine is a single parent to her 4-year-old daughter Tatiana. - Winston Sill/Freelance Photographer
International modelling agencies are going ga ga over the waif-like Nadine Willis. Four months into her career she's being touted as one to watch, stepping from the strip clubs of Kingston and into the pages of prestigious magazines like British and French Vogue. But there's more to Willis than glamorous magazine shots. Below, she bares her scars, telling reporter Claude Mills about stripping, childhood abuse and her half-white daughter.
Nadine is as 'un-supermodel-like' as you can get. She rarely wears earrings or jewellery, and confesses to owning what she calls a cheap Digicel phone. Her toes are painted a non-descript red. Her eyes sparkle with impish glee, and she has a playful side that she is not afraid to show, sometimes lapsing into a self-described London accent. At the beginning of our interview she seems obsessed with a pimple on the reporter's left cheek, staring at it several times. "I love squeezing pimples. Mi hate see dem," she finally says, laughing. Her laughter is dark and rich, bubbling with easy sensual huskiness in her voice.
WHEN SIX-year-old Nadine Willis heard the wet, sickening crunch of a breaking bone in her left arm, she howled in surprised agony.
The night which had started innocently enough had gone quickly downhill when her father, in a fit of drunken rage, after a verbal tirade with her mother, had hurled her across the room onto a batch of nearby bottles.
The bottles smashed on impact and shards of broken glass slashed the little girl's left arm, face and head.
"See," she says, turning up the sleeve of her left arm, "here are the scars. That's what he did to me."
The fleshy scars are barely visible against her dark skin, but the long ugly slashes, the gashes on her face, forehead and right cheek are exclamations of the physical abuse from that night 19 years ago.
While graphic artists are sometimes forced to digitally delete them after her photo shoots, Willis wears her scars -- physical and emotional -- easily enough.
"What is done is done. It is my past, I cannot do anything about it now and I refuse to let it affect the quality of my life now. I refuse to be bitter, or let things fester and ruin my life."
After that harrowing experience, Willis was raised by a court-assigned guardian, Valda Sheriff, while her mother went to Canada and her father lived in Olympic Way, Kingston.
"It was rough growing up. She had to raise about eight or nine other kids, she did what she could to raise me," recalls Willis who attended Drews Avenue and Balcombe Drive All-Age schools in some of the city's seedier neighbourhoods. She left without sitting CXC exams.
"I was a bit of a tomboy growing up and although a lot of guys tried to come on to me, I knew how to handle myself."
Her mother, Mabel Ionie Ferguson, returned to Jamaica when she was 15 but their relationship continued to labour along like a car with sand stuck in the transmission.
"Even to this day, I am still not close to my mother or my father. I don't resent her for not being there but she has done a lot of other things to me. I resent my father for what he did to me when I was younger, but I recognise that he is my father, and that she is my mother."
STRIPPING DOWN
Her strip dancing career began at The Trap when she was 15. She lasted for two weeks before moving on to Palais Royale for five months, and then to Gemini for about nine years, making $5,000 to 6,000 a week, plus tips.
"My mother couldn't say anything about it. I had to do what I had to do. Dancing has given me the opportunity to travel all over the world, I've gone to Poland, Trinidad and Tobago, Barbados, London and Bahamas.
"I never had problems with the girls growing up. They gave me costumes and shoes until I could buy my own. It was never a 'fight-gainst' situation until you start making good money, or one of their good clients start to show you attention."
HER DAUGHTER, TATIANA
In 1999, Willis met a white man at the club, and from that relationship, her daughter, Tatiana Areka Berg was born.
"We started a relationship which lasted for six months. It wasn't business, it was a genuine relationship. He introduced me to his daughter and to his friends and he came to check me in Waterhouse at various hours of the night.
She was three months pregnant when she discovered that he was married. "I called his apartment, and a woman answered. I asked if she was the helper and she said 'No, I am his wife'.
"I just dumped him."
Although Tatiana carries her father's name, Willis said he refused to support her during her pregnancy. "When I had the child, and I was on three months leave. Ms. Gemini was the one who helped me when the baby was just born. She sent pampers, crib, pram, medicine and money to help and I will never forget that."
Although his wife eventually divorced him, Willis's relationship with the father of her child steadily deteriorated. They argued repeatedly and at one point, he threatened to shoot her. Their relationship reached a low point two years later when he denied to his new girlfriend that he was the father of the child.
"She had found out about me and invited me over to her house with my daughter, then she called him to come over. When he got there, she confronted him and he denied that he was Tatiana's father. He just said, 'she's lying, she's just a go-go dancer'. I was really hurt by that. That was the lowest point in my life."
Willis decided to cut all ties with him and in 2001 went to London for a visit. On her return, the father of her child had disappeared. "He just disappeared. He moved out of his apartment, and I haven't seen him since," she said.
"I don't care if he wants to give me money, just be a dad to my daughter, I don't want her to grow up and not know her father like what happened to me. She is alright financially but I just want her to know that he is her father. When she asks 'where is daddy?', it hurts my heart."
THE LOVES OF HER LIFE
Willis confesses to having had two great loves in her life: one of them is Tyrone Downey who plays in the band, the Wailers. "I almost got married to him. We had a lot of fights but we'll always be friends, he is married now, and lives in Paris with his wife and kids. He is one of the great loves of my life, the other one I am still involved with, he is married as well, but we are still involved. He now lives in the USA."
Did you ever have sex for money?
"No. I never had to. I was always involved in relationships with men who took care of me so I never had to sell myself to men."
WHY SHE LEFT GEMINI
"I just knew I had to leave Gemini, I didn't want to become one of those 40-year-old dancers. Girls shouldn't dance beyond age 30, and if you look good, you maybe could last in the business till age 35. But I didn't want to be like some women, who were in the business so long that their daughters joined them on-stage at the same club. I have seen that happen, and that is sad," she said.
"That's why I decided to try something else, and it worked."
"I have a few friends at Gemini, like the bartenders, Ms. Gemini, and dancers like Rosemarie, Ninja and Irlene, but ... other girls criticised me a lot when I started to model for Pulse. They said things like 'yu caan model fi Pulse, yu nuh prettier than we'. If I followed them, I wouldn't be where I am today."
Willis says she has drawn on her personality and the work ethic she developed as an exotic dancer to help in her challenging modelling career.
"I am good with people and I am always courteous, polite and smiling even when things are not going well. The persona of easygoing Willis that I created during my eight years at Gemini gets me through. That Willis gets me through life."
She also speaks proudly about making a courtesy call to Minister Philip Paulwell, Minister of Commerce and Technology, who dubbed her an ambassador of the country.
"I am never looking back. Once you become a celebrity, there is no turning back. I know I have to maintain a certain standard, there are people looking up to me, little black girls who I can inspire in the way Grace Jones inspired me. I will not let them down, or let down the media, my agents, Pulse or my country. I will succeed."
PULSE
She signed with Pulse early last year but continued dancing up to this February.
"Things weren't going well for me in the modelling business in Jamaica and I had to supplement my income to take care of my daughter. She goes to prep school and the school fee is $16,000 (per term). I have to pay $2,500 to pick her up and $2,000 to take care of her per week.
"A lot of rich kids go to her prep school, and I can say that none of them have anything over her. She has everything she needs. I never had birthday parties growing up, I am making sure that she has those and more."
When she is overseas her former guardian, Valda Sheriff takes care of her 4-year-old.
MORE TRUTHS ABOUT NADINE
Born: August 5, 1980
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 125 pounds
Friends:Tabby Diamond, Tanya Cohen, and Ms. Gemini (godmother to her daughter)
People she finds inspirational: Jamaican born former model and actress Grace Jones; supermodel Naomi Campbell; and former Jamaican model Lois Samuels.
"Grace paved the way for black models and Jamaican models. She will always be an inspiration to other black girls.
Favourite hangout spot: Fashion Café, at Pulse headquarters, Trafalgar Road in Kingston.
Favourite dish: Steamed fish, garlic shrimp.
Future plans: To become a world-famous supermodel and to, one day, own an apartment complex.
Favourite colours: Red or black and white combinations.
Modeling: She signed with Women model agency in New York, Select in London with representation to come in Paris and Italy.
What she makes: Can make up to US$40,000 to $50,000 for a two-day shoot. However, models sometimes work only a few days in a month or a few months in a year.
WHAT HER FORMER DANCE MATES SAY
Irlene, dancer at Gemini for 10 years
"I knew Nadine from I was dancing at Palais Royale. She went to Gemini and I followed her here. We used to live on the same avenue in Waterhouse. Nadine is an OK girl, she doesn't chat people and she nuh like when people fass in har business. She always looks out for herself, sometime yu fi look out fi other people still, but otherwise from that, she alright. Mi just hope her head de pon her body, and dem nuh tek her fi no fool, Irlene say so."
Elmore Dinnall, Mrs. Gemini, proprietor of the club
"She's a warm, loving, caring person. She's great. I have known her almost 10 years and she hasn't changed. She is always bubbly. I saw her last week Tuesday, and she gave me a big hug. I wish her all the best."
Tyshia, a dancer at Gemini for eight years with whom Nadine had 'some drama' a few years ago
"We got along well enough. She's a nice person, very vibesy. She was aiming for this a long time, and she finally got there, and I am happy for her. Anything she put her mind to, she can do it. I wish her and her pretty baby girl the best, and I hope all her dreams come true."
