By Kinisha O'Neill, Staff ReporterA young woman talks about the trauma of having an abortion and a doctor who made her feel like a common criminal. She says she wants to share her experience so others will think twice when they are faced with an unplanned pregnancy.
"NURSE I'M about to commit murder no, we are about to commit murder," the doctor said turning to his trembling patient and her fretful partner.
"We are about to kill your child," he added.
"Nurse, would you be okay witnessing this murder?" the doctor asked his assistant, throwing his callous words at the couple.
The nurse's reply was dry and simple: "No, I don't want to be present."
"Well, you can't be upset by other people's beliefs," the doctor told the couple in their mid-20s.
Seventeen days after the doctor's crude and insensitive comments and the trauma of having an abortion, Carla Allenis still shaken and depressed. It was her first abortion experience and she swears it will be her last.
She remembers every detail, down to mundane facts such as what she ate and how long she slept. She can't help it, she says, the events keep playing out in her mind. She says she wouldn't wish her experience on her worst enemy, and wouldn't advise anyone to do it.
Allen, 25, and her partner, Mark, have been together for almost six months. Their bond is strong, she notes. On the day Allen found out she was pregnant, Mark rushed to her side, promising he would be there for her no matter what she chose to do, although he didn't want her to have an abortion. Despite his feeling of sadness when she decided to abort, Mark did not argue, she says. He stuck to his promise and stood by her side.
Still, it wasn't that simple, Carla recalls. She remembers seeing tears in his eyes on a few occasions. Yet, he refused to talk to her about it, he wanted to be strong for her.
"I'm just so happy I have him, he's been so good to me. He's been there for me throughout the whole thing."
THE DAY OF THE ABORTION
Allen recalls being gripped by terror, and feeling alone and confused as she and Mark made their way to the doctor's office in Kingston. "He (Mark) was there with me physically, but I didn't feel as if anybody was there with me emotionally. I guess because everything has happened to me alone," she told Flair.
TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE
Despite his comments about murder, Allen credits the doctor for preparing her for the procedure. Still, nothing could've prepared her for the pain and humiliation of the operation. The stirrups, the injections, the suction.
"I literally felt like someone was ripping me from the inside out. It was a terrible pain," she told Flair. The suction lasted five minutes.
Meanwhile, Mark was sitting behind the curtain. The doctor had told the couple he could not be present during the operation. However, when he heard her screams and cries of "Oh God, why are we doing this?" he wanted to comfort her. When he tried to enter the operating area he was turned back by the doctor. Allen says she still can't understand why.
Mark was finally able to come to her side, after the doctor had got the foetus and took measures to control the bleeding.
Allen says she was
overwhelmed by emotions and her reaction to Mark was a sign of her inner turmoil. "He came in, grabbed my hand and kissed me on my forehead. I screamed and told him not to touch me. I asked him what it was that we just did.
"I was hysterical, in pain and
very nauseous."
After she had some time to rest, Allen remembers that the doctor threw a sanitary napkin at her, saying, "Clean up yourself and put on this."
She was then given two sets of pills one to contract her cervix, the other was a painkiller.
ABORTION MORALLY WRONG -- THE DOCTOR TOLD HER
At the end, Allen says the doctor confessed to being harsh because he believes a lot of women use abortion as a method of birth control. This, he added, was morally wrong and harmful to the body.
She went home that day exhausted and wracked by pain and guilt. Mark put her to bed, made sure she was okay and went to work. He returned in the evening to make sure everything was okay and was there whenever she needed him.
"I did it because I'm a selfish person and I don't think I could handle a child emotionally, but I do regret it because I feel that I love him and if things were different I would love to have a family with him," Allen now confides. She adds that although she loves the feeling of sex without a condom, she will never take the chance of doing it again.
Two days ago Carla and Mark returned to the doctor for a follow-up visit. She reports that all is well.
Names changed by request.
