Melville Cooke A FEW months ago when I wished for a long war in Iraq, I did not know that I would get even more than I wanted.
Not only is it shaping up to be a nice, nasty summer in Iraq, it promises to get even better. The Americans (forget coalition) are committed to staying in Iraq; they are kicking in people's doors willy-nilly, creating more and more resentment (BBC carries the coverage of them cursing at women and children); the Shi'ites want them out and things are looking rosy all around.
RATHER DESPERATE
With over 50 American soldiers well and truly dead since George Bush declared the war officially over, the U.S. has got rather desperate, offering millions of dollars in rewards and displaying the bodies of Saddam's lads, who they killed in a "fierce gun battle".
(Is it only old pessimistic me, or is it a bit strange that 200 U.S. soldiers had to call in helicopters and all that to kill four men in a house, after coming under "heavy fire". Four men? I did not believe I would hear about a stranger shoot-out than Braeton).
With the Shi'ites, the oppressed people the U.S. supposedly liberated, mulling over raising an army by December if the Yanks and tanks are still around, Santa Claus seems set to make a stop on my television screen for once.
You see, the Americans who are responsible for making decisions concerning Iraq do not understand anything that they cannot put a price on or kill. Hence, they are totally out of their depth with any sort of nationalistic feeling. It confounded them in Cuba, in Vietnam and now Iraq (not to say that Iraq will be another Vietnam).
I caught a part of an Iraqi man speaking about Iraqi nationalism on the BBC radio service (104.5 FM) a few weeks ago. I did not get his name, but he said that before Saddam there was someone, after Saddam there will be someone, but Iraq will always be Iraq.
The Americans do not understand this. They believe that if they kill the key people and spend enough money, all will be solved.
The most telling and funniest story I have read since the Iraqi occupation by the U.S. was about some GIs building a soccer field, clearing the land, carrying in dirt, spreading and levelling it and then putting in goal posts. When they came back to look at their accomplishment the following day, less than 12 hours later, it was all gone goal posts, dirt, everything.
"What kind of people are these, that they would steal dirt?" one American soldier asked.
AMERICAN SERVICEMEN
During the massacre that passed for a war, American servicemen were pretty happy, writing their names on heavy bombs that were dropped on civilians as well as soldiers. Now that they are on the ground, they should be really brave and scrawl their messages on their flak jackets. Y'know, like 'this one's for 9/11'.
I am rather disappointed, though, in the quality of the hand grenades that the Iraqis are using. In all those movies that I have watched, when a grenade is tossed, at least six or seven men bite the dust. So how comes these new-fangled types do not seem able to take out more than two or three per pop?
And we have not seen the suicide bombers yet.
Hey, did you hear that one about George Bush rushing to Colin Powell waving The Gleaner, saying 'Aaha, Kolin my boy, your country has done it! Now we have the evidence to get that Fidel chap!' He pushes the paper under Colin Powell's nose, with the headline 'Gastro kills eight'. Powell looks at it carefully and breaks the news gently. "It is a 'G', chief, not a 'C'".
Bush looks carefully and says: "Oh, Coddammitt".
Footnote 1: Would you all get over this RBTT e-mail thing? I knew it was a hoax from I laid eyes on her.
Footnote 2: I am happy to see that Ms. Ritch has (finally) done some reading, even if it took her two weeks to cover the basics and her interpretation leaves a lot to be desired (what did you do, hire a research assistant?). But I promised three articles on the trot about the topic, I delivered and that is quite enough for now. You also took quite a while to get yourself together, so after a few I will be back to the screensaver. That means you, Dawn. In about three or four weeks.
Melville Cooke is a freelance writer.
