By Rosemary Parkinson, Freelance Writer 
- Photo By Rosemary Parkinson
Total Cost: Two packages of
roti -- Chicken and Vegetable and Vegetable and Chick Peas -- $795.12 (including tax)
Each package had: Two so-called roti which are about 5 inches long.
How they rate: 1/2
WELL, I never.
Christopher Knowles (Tate & Lyle, London, and a rank Trinidadian), sent several of us, of similar heritage, an
e-mail with a photo and caption which read: "Look wey roti reach". The photo was of a package bearing the bright name -- President's Choice Roti.
Hmmm. Implications, implications.
So I went to Hi Lo supermarket in Negril and, believe you me, it's not a hoax. That photo was not compiled by some computer whiz with a warped mind. No. No. No. It's for real. President's Choice Roti.
Trini roti produced by a North American firm? Canadian, in fact. I want to wake up from this bad dream. Please, someone, pinch me. Okay, the package does not say 'Trini Roti' but every right-thinking Caribbean person knows that roti is truly a Trini thing it's even on the coat of arms. Alright, ah lie it's not, but it should be. Roti is, after all, a blink away from being the national dish of Trinidad. Come on, at least everyone should be able to agree with dat. I mean, think about it carnival, steelpan and roti, dat is Trinidad. Dat is not North America, dat is Trinidad. And only a Trini can make a real, real melt-in-the-mouth roti.
BLASPHEMY, I TELL YOU
So who tell Canadians dem to try copy de t'ing, marketing it worldwide under the banner President's Choice? Can you just see the future. Caribana, steelpan and President Choice Roti?
I mean do the President's Choice people know what they have done? They have infiltrated the core of Trini food. They have committed blasphemy. Now you see, this is where I always feel we in the Caribbean 'stupidy, stupidy'. With all the food manufacturers we have, not only in Trinidad but in all the islands, couldn't anyone of them have come up with the idea to package a ready-made real, honest Trini Roti? No Sah, we have to leave it to Canada. And look at what has happened President Choice Roti. Canadian Roti. North American Roti in fact, 'cause when the U.S. finds out about this, is dem following suit. This is definitely about going too far. To add insult to injury dem Canadians selling it to we. We buying roti back. We buying back we own ting, again. Like sugar.
Who cares if the North Americans produce Thai, Indian, Chinese, French or whatever else food in a package. But roti? Hello? Are they well? Truth is, I want to know the traitor who sold the roti recipe to President's Choice. Other questions come to mind: Who gets the royalties from these sales? After all, you cannot 'ups' and start selling someone else's birthright just so. Okay, maybe roti is not legally copywritten, but even a Tutsie knows that roti belongs to the people of Trinidad.
COULD PRESIDENT'S CHOICE FLYING FISH BE NEXT?
What action is Trinidadian Prime Minister Patrick Manning going to take? He took fast action over the Bajan/Tobagonian Flying Fish but what about his own roti? Is he even aware of the situation? Has anyone sent him a President's Choice Roti for perusal? Ah hope is not he dat made a deal with President's Choice. Nex' t'ing you know there will be President's Choice Old Oak, President's Choice Vat 19, President's Choice Angostura Bitters... I mean, this could get serious.
God forbid President's Choice starts to sell President's Choice Cascadura. I can just see fields of muddy water and de Cascadura fish topping de Aquaculture of Canada. I mean, everyone knows what Cascadura is to Trinidad (apart from an aphrodisiac). Or do you? Well, if you don't, I am going to tell you. Cascadura is an unattractive type of catfish from the Silurian age (ancient) that lives embedded in mud and is more Trini dan Trini. "Those who eat cascadura will," the native legend says, "wheresoever they may wander, end in Trinidad their days." History of the West Indies by Allister MacMillans. See what I mean? See how important it is that Cascadura does not get into the hands of President Choice? Heavens (or hells), Trinidad will become one 'jainormous' cemetery.
The only way, as I see it now, is to stop President's Choice from making any more of our indigenous foods. Stop even de roti. If you think that this does not affect Jamaica, wait until you see President's Choice bun. President's Choice ackee and saltfish. President's Choice Escoveitch Fish. And, worse I don't even want to think it President's Choice Jamaican patty. President's Choice Jerk. President's Choice Busta Browne or Pickappa.
No Sah, we must interfere. At the next CARICOM meeting our governments must do something positive by vociferously soliciting the Canadian Parliament (and the U.S. Congress) to ensure that this situation does not reach enormous and out of hand proportions. I just hope that U.S. President George Bush doesn't decide we is roti terrorists and send troops. I mean, we do have oil and natural gas in the region.
GET RID OF OUR FOOD AND YOU GET RID OF OUR CULTURE
Now you might think what does the poor U.S. and George Bush have to do with this? Well, this could be a covert action. I mean, Canada could be putting up a smokescreen with food to divert Bush's attention from their mind-boggling set of oilfields. Knowing Amuhrrica's love of 'take-overs' nex' t'ing you know dem Americans slide quietly behind the scenes and grab we food dat de Canadians tief. After all, even Bajan Dr. Henry Fraser (quoted in my article about airline food) said, "Caribbean people do not eat to live, they live to eat". I add: Get rid of our food, you get rid of our culture, our traditions. So by process of elimination de only t'ing we will have left of value is de oil and natural gas. And we all know how Bush love dat. Nex' t'ing you know we become The United States of the Caribbean, all because we did not take note of what was really going on when President's Choice put a roti in a package.
To further investigate I committed a crime. I purchased a President's Choice Roti Chicken & Vegetable and a Vegetable & Chick Pea. Eff you see de ingredients. Lordie. No Trini Roti worth its taste in salt has all dem strange t'ings in it -- carrot and cabbage, sweet pea, even yoghurt.
One roti, rolled the wrong way, and about five inches long, had six chick peas and nuff 'soffie-soffie dough. The other, the same with four half inch pieces of chicken. Nah Nah Nah. Seasoned chicken and vegetables in a spicy Caribbean-style sauce, rolled inside a thin masala-seasoned flatbread wrap. Get real folks at President's Choice that was nowhere near a Trini roti. Mus' be a trikki Bajan who sell you dat recipe.
So as Jamaica heads into its 41st year of Independence, come on Grace Kennedy. How about some boxed, frozen, real Jamaican cuisine made in Jamaica by Jamaicans and exported to the rest of the world. Hey, what about Prime Minister's Jerk Chicken or Governor General's Jamaican Patty. Otherwise, who knows, we might
never celebrate another Independence except the 4th of July one OR maybe Canada and President's Choice will just keep on using we food, take over de U.S., their food, their oil, we oil and then we will be all celebrating
July 1 (Canada Day).
Food for thought? Or in this case, thought for food.
Rosemary Parkinson is busy as a Trini roti at J'Ouvert gathering a petition from all Caribbean people.
No more 'President-Choice-anyting-dat-belongs-to-we. Roti is far enough
in fact too far!
