Glenda Simms, Contributor
VIRGINITY HAS come out of the closet!
In order to have a balanced discussion on the meaning of virginity and the relationship between this meaning and the definition of womanhood we need to understand the historical roots of "the virgin".
Jane Mills in her compilation of Womanwords, stated that the original meaning of virgin was connected to early Christian times when the chaste woman was distinguished "for her piety or her steadfastness in religion". And in those days the use of the title Virgin Mary for the mother of Christ was firmly established.
It is interesting to note also that by the late 16th century the meaning of virgin was clearly gender specific, in that it was "applied to the sexual purity or chastity of women but never to the chastity of men".
Clearly the Christian religion and the linking of the term virgin to Mary the mother of Christ cemented the idea that a virgin is a woman who has never experienced sexual intercourse.
Interestingly, the term virgin, over time evolved to its present conception that of a young girl who has never had sexual intercourse. When, in the mid-eighteenth century, the term was used to denote an unmarried and older woman, it was usually used in a derogatory manner.
Such women were popularly described as "old maids" or "spinsters". They were not seen as chaste in the purest of Christian definition of the "pure woman". Then, like now, such women were pitied, unless they committed themselves to a church order and clearly ascribe to the notion of celibacy because the early church fully expected that sexual intercourse should take place within the institution of marriage an edict which has always been disobeyed.
Mills argues that it was the mental images which the early church fathers had of women and their bodies that cemented the idea that virginity should be important to and for women but not for men.
Within this world view, women were forced to see themselves as pure or impure, chaste or vulgar, good or bad, purely because of their relationship to their sexual desires.
PATRIARCHY AND VIRGINITY
Simone de Beauvoir examined the role of patriarchy in the management of the "virgin" and came to the conclusion that "virginity is demanded for more immediate reasons when a man regards his wife as his personal property." In male-stream thinking, what is owned is the exclusive property of the owner. Therefore the man desires a
"virgin" because this physiological state assures him that his woman/wife was never touched by another man.
Against such patriarchal and materialistic values, women are forever struggling to validate themselves and to be autonomous especially in relationship to their physical body and to their psycho-sexual definition of their worth as human beings.
One of the most critical elements of patriarchy is the control of the female sexuality. Women have been struggling valiantly to take their bodies away from the control of men, but the majority has not been able to do so.
The bad woman/good woman dichotomy is still a challenge when women try to regain their psychological state of virginity.
Bad women are those who are not only free with their sexuality, they are also sexy and adhering and have many men after them. On the other hand, the "good sister" is chaste, virginal and either sexless or asexual.
In this confusion of definitions, there is a subtle message in the continuing debate about human sexuality in general and the sexual prerogatives of woman in particular. It is the message that is sent to women and girls via multiple layers of societal pressure. It says "guard your hymen, because it is the most valuable body part you possess. It is the aspect of your biology which defines you".
While the emphasis has always been on the concept of virgo intacta we find in the wider society an opposing view of "the virgin". In many places and at different times, virgins were stereotyped as awkward, straitlaced uptight prudes who are so lacking in sex appeal that no man will want to have them.
It is this image that both exposes the inherent contradictions of patriarchal values and the subtle pressure that is put on young women to engage in sex to prove that they are "real women".
Many young women in Jamaican society are called dirty names if they appear to lack interest in men and their sexual overtures. Some are called at various times, "sodomites", "lesbians", "funny girls", or just plain "old weirdos".
When these same girls give in to peer pressure and the overt societal expectations and have premarital sex they are called "bad girls", "whores", "sluts", and "leggo beasts". In a real sense a girl just can't win in male centred arenas, therefore women must come to psychic space when they liberate from mental and physical slavery which is designed to keep them in a state of confusion.
VIRGO INTACTA
Many women have learnt that the hymen can be broken through activities not related to sex through biking, various exercises and other common place sporting activities. For such women, virginity is not about virgo intacta. It is more about their ability to claim their sexual virginity within the context of their woman-defined selves.
This is very important because women know that one can be sexually active in a variety of ways without penile penetration. Therefore the presence of an intact hymen is not a signal of the sexual naiveté that some men desire in women. With this knowledge women must articulate their sense of the power and control that they need in order to take their bodies back from the male definition of "woman".
In this process we need to be reminded that Elizabeth the 1st was often referred to as the "virgin queen" not because she did not have various lovers, but because she was seen as strong and unconquerable.
It means therefore that women need to search for the many ways in which they can positively assert themselves, become independent financially and psycho-socially in order to find a level of confidence with which they can reclaim their virginity. In this state, they will decide when to have sex and with whom they would like to do so.
They would not be forced to prove their womanhood through sexual activities when they are ill prepared for the consequences of early pregnancy and the trauma of the ravages of sexually transmitted diseases.
THE WOMAN'S PREROGATIVE
In a discussion on virginity in the 1990s, Celeste Cinca, a Filipino writer, reported that when young Filipino women are educated and informed on all the choices that they can make in taking charge of their bodies, they make decisions that work for them, in spite of the societal definitions of "the virtuous woman".
The woman interviewed for Cinca's study gave a view of virginity that is beyond the biological and is primarily psychological. This means that it is a woman's prerogative to not only hold on to her virginity if she is so inclined, but also to put herself in a state of virginity "by choosing to be celibate for a long time."
In the final analysis, all members of society need to be reminded that women and girls have the right to keep their bodies intact and to be afforded the privilege of their body integrity.
But how can they achieve this state of biological and psychological autonomy when so many are raped, carnally abused and are the victims of incest before they had the ability to speak or to think about their bodies?
For such victims there needs to be an open discussion on how to reclaim one's virginity not for the men who desire virgins but for the women who at a deep level of the psyche search for their virginity on a daily basis.
As Cinca concluded, "Virginity can be a sign of a woman's control over her body," but for this state to be reached she must make an informed choice. She must know what her reasons are.
Women need to find a solid sense of control over their destinies because the misinterpretation of female sexuality within a patriarchal framework serves to victimise women and girls and leaves them vulnerable to a wide range of sexual violence.
Glenda P. Simms is the executive director of the Bureau of Women's Affairs.
