Melville Cooke One ting mi haffi tell dem Dutty got di woody woody
Frontway backway Dutty K man have di shooby shooby
Virgin dem waan gimme and mi have to tooky tooky
Like Glue, Sean Paul
I REALLY hope that nobody goes, "Oh no, that is what he was really saying?" about those lyrics, OK?
OK.
I fear that by and large we have missed the point in that suggestion about virginity testing that has caused a nine-day furor, and, in so doing, we have struck close our dearly hypocritical Jamaican heart.
As awkwardly as it was put, the goodly Mr. Smith and I do believe only a man would have made the suggestion was putting the onus of proof in carnal abuse on the female children. He probably believed that he was throwing out a good suggestion to stop this scourge, but being a Jamaican male he could not get around to the other end of the equation.
Instead of asking girls under the age of 16 to be tested for tensile resistance to inflow we should be working at the other end of the reproductive process, where there is evidence of outflow. Of the girls under the age of consent who have given birth in this country, or in cases where the bundle of grief was conceived under the legal age of consent to sex, how many of the fathers have been charged and put before the courts?
I don't have the statistics, but I am willing to bet mighty, mighty few. And this is in a case where the child's paternity can be proven easily.
I read a report in The Gleaner some two or so years ago it may have been longer - that the average age of the "baby fadas" of children under 14 was a bit over 50. Fifty goddamn years old. Now, a John Crow like that, once paternity is proven, should be slung over the happy side of the maximum security prison, since he is so interested in the term "fresh meat".
And while we are at it, there is a simple preventative measure that can be taken as well. The police can simply stake out a girl's or co-ed school in the school at random say once a month and, along with a teacher, eliminate the fathers and guardians at pick-up time. Then a tap on the window, followed by a quick pop around to the home address for a quick word to the missus (because almost every man has a woman) would be in order.
(I know I am straying far outside the realms of the children's homes, but it is a sickening problem that permeates our society).
Our oh so prude Jamaican hearts are rather hypocritical, though. Is this the same society that lives by "de olda de moon, de brighta it shine, de younga de gal de sweeta she wine?' that is shocked by young girls having sex? Is it the same society that has "mini this" and "micro that" contests that frowns on little misses "brucking out"?
And, pray tell, how does the equation of young boys to whom the age of consent also applies earning stripes for "working" females, while the females being frowned upon for "getting wuk" balance out?
It is also rather instructive that, despite the shenanigans of say oh, let's say the RC Church abroad, no one has broached the topic of checking the most susceptible of Jamaican lads like those in the homes to see if the hallowed one-way from teeth to toilet has been breached.
At the end of the day, virginity testing is a horrible, humiliating thing, although in South Africa it does seem to be catching on as a way of controlling the AIDS pandemic.
In Jamaica, let us deal with the nasty big men first of all.
Of course, there is always that thing about the hymen being broken during exercise, while legend has it that a few have been reconstructed through the judicious application of Blue Bomber.
But, as they say, at the end if the day the proof of the pudding is the eating and the evidence of the hymen is in the pricking.
Footnote: Does a woman performing oral sex constitute breaking her virginity? I have read a couple letters to advice columns where Christian young ladies will blow but not burst, as the latter constitutes a sin.
Young gal business control Jamaica
Gal a rule man we drive Benz an' Jaguar
- Chakademus
Next week: Naked and unbound: Redemption Song.
