Tony Deyal IN BIARRITZ, St. Tropez and other places on the French Riviera, vacationers enjoy the legal right to nudity.
In Jamaica, not even statues are allowed that statutory right. While freedom of expression is guaranteed under the constitution and seemingly cast in stone, those cast in stone have no such protection under the law or the elements.
In fact, two nude statues, one male and the other female, are weathering a storm of protest about the open display of genitalia on the one hand and the display of open genitalia on the other. While the statues air their differences openly without resort to rancour, the public is much more expressive and condemnatory. Although the fate of the Titanic clearly demonstrated that size is not everything, a sizeable proportion of the Jamaican population, exercising the constitutional rights, was calling for the offending portions of the statues to be excised.
It is not unusual for the uncovered endowments of public endowments to be covered in nothing but controversy. In Barbados, the statue of the slave 'Bussa' who led an uprising, had his sculptured uprising put down by conservative Barbadians who demanded that his statuesque provisions be hidden under the folds of a pair of pants so that panting admirers of his form and physique would not derive any illicit satisfaction or vicarious pleasure from the pile. This proved that even after death, life for a slave had its ups and downs. Lord Nelson, the island's other controversial hero immortalised in stone, faced no such problem. The cannons that blazed forth at Trafalgar and Lady Caroline Lamb remain under cover below the poop deck.
PENALISING THE PENIS
Perhaps this is why the British and Americans eschew nudity in their sepulchres and statues. One sees generals, warriors and such like mounted on horses, their swords in their hands. In Jamaica, however, one could interpret the male statue to represent not only freedom of the slaves but also freedom of the press since he symbolises the penis mightier than the sword. In fact, according to one news report, another nude male statue was torn down after it was erected (if that is the right word) because its endowment was disproportionately disappointing in relation to the rest of its physique, no small matter in Jamaica, which has its sexual hang-ups and downs.
Sculptors and artists have always been misunderstood. For instance, one hears about the artist who was censured because he took too literally General Custer's last words at the Battle of Big Horn where Custer and his troops were slaughtered by the Sioux tribe who had their own uprising under Chief Sitting Bull. This famous event, known as Custer's Last Stand, is an important symbol of American history. A great crowd of specially-invited dignitaries was on hand for the unveiling of the final tribute to the great soldier whose dashing ways and long blonde hair and beard made him a romantic figure of the old West. The audience was in shock and some refined ladies in hysterics when the painting was finally revealed.
Instead of a scene of slaughter or at least of battle, what the surprised and disgusted spectators beheld was an orgy, with Indians copulating everywhere on the canvas and in the middle of it all what seemed to be a column of smoke ascending heaven-wards. The audience was aghast. The artist was astonished and hurt. He insisted that he was faithful to history and to the spirit of General Custer whose last words were, "Holy smoke, look at all those (expletive deleted) Indians."
OPEN TO SUBJECTIVITY
Even before Custer, art has always been subject to subjective and sometimes extremely controversial interpretation. In Aus-tralia, archaeologists uncovered an ancient tablet revealed by carbon-dating to be over 2,000 years old. At a news conference, the head honcho revelled in the glory of his prize.
"If we look at these symbols," he said, "the presence of the cross indicates that even then Christianity had made its way to our land. Next the presence of a shovel or fork indicates that our forebears were agriculturists. The third symbol, what looks like the remnants of a cigarette, shows that they had already discovered tobacco. The final symbol looks like a small fowl and again demonstrates that farming was practised here even in those early days." One cynical Aussie did not agree. He insisted that it was an example of early Australian pornography. The scientist, totally irritated at the interruption, asked, "How do you know that?" The smug Aussie replied, "Because what it really says is 'Christ, dig the butt on that chick'!"
EUROPEAN SCULPTURE
As I sit in front of the computer at 2:30 in the morning, Leonardo Da Vinci's 'Ascent of Man' hangs to my left. As it is a drawing of a male nude, hangs is the appropriate word. However, the huge poster is better hung than its subject. He would have been disqualified in Jamaica.
Michelangelo's 'David' would not have fared better and the reaction might have so traumatised the poor sculptor that he would have spent the rest of his days looking up at the ceiling. Henry Moore said, "A sculptor is a person who is interested in the shape of things." If that is true, given the debate on the statues, every Jamaican is a sculptor.
There is a story about an artist who went into an antique store and saw this perfectly cast bronze rat. He asked the proprietor the price and the man said, "Ten dollars for the rat and $100 for the story behind it."
"Forget the story," the man said, "give me the rat." As he walked outside the man realised that he was being followed by an increasing number of rats, hundreds and later thousands of them. In panic, he threw the bronze rat into a river and his escort of rats then plunged into the river and drowned.
The man rushed back to the store where the proprietor beamed, "Ah, you came back for the story?"
"No," the man said adamantly, "Do you have a sculpture of a Jamaican critic?"
Tony Deyal was last seen reciting the limerick, 'There was an old sculptor named Phidias/Whose knowledge of art was invidious/He carved Aphrodite/Without any nightie/ Which startled the purely fastidious.'
