Michael Reckord, Contributor
"BEV IS the most cynical woman I've ever met," Artie said, clearly depressed.
He was talking about his family's helper who had just nodded goodnight to us and was heading down the driveway to the gate. I was sipping coconut water on my young friend's verandah and enjoying the pinks, blues and purples of the sunset.
"Why cynical?" I asked.
"Do you know she doesn't believe the Government has reduced poverty by nearly 50 per cent over the past decade?"
"It has?" I asked, incredulous myself.
Artie frowned. "It was in the papers last week Wednesday."
"Artie, my boy, you're an aspiring journalist, and one of the first things you've got to learn about the business is that not everything reported by the media is true."
"But the Prime Minister announced it to the United Nations Conference in Cuba the other day. Would he lie to them?"
"More important politicians than P.J. have lied to the world, Artie. That's becoming increasingly clear as questions about the Iraq invasion get answered."
Artie laughed. "You know, that's exactly what Bev said."
"She knows about world affairs?"
"Bev is the most informed woman in Jamaica, Dads. While she is doing her morning chores in the house, she has all three radios on, one tuned to Disclosure, one to Hotline and the third to Perkins on Line. Simultaneously, she has the upstairs TV on CNN and the downstairs one on BBC World."
"I thought helpers only watched The Young and The Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful and Judge Judy."
"Not Bev. She's a news junkie. Of course our electricity bill is horrendous, but Mama likes her because she's honest, works hard and is a veritable mine of information."
"Well, now that the minimum wage is being increased, your mother should give her a raise," I said. "That should make her happier."
"Oh, Bev's getting a thousand a day right now, and Mama gives her an increase every January. The minimum wage means nothing to her. In fact ..."
Artie jumped up, said, "Soon come," and disappeared into the house.
He returned with his portable tape recorder. "I interviewed Bev this morning, hoping to get a feature story on a helper's reaction to the minimum wage increase. This is our conversation."
He pressed the Play button.
Artie: What do you think will be the general reaction of helpers to the 11 per cent minimum wage increase, Bev?
Bev: It not enough. De dollar devalue 25 per cent over de last few months. Wid all the cost increases, we worse off now than dis time las year.
Artie: But P.J. says his Government has decreased poverty nearly 50 per cent in the last 10 years.
Bev: Mout mek fi say anyting, yaw.
Artie: You don't believe him?
Bev: If is true why de Cabinet went on emergency retreat few days ago to discuss de economic crisis? Dere should be no crisis.
Artie: Maybe it's only short term.
Bev: We been paying $300-million, and rising, every day to service our debts fah months.
Artie: The PM told the UN Conference that the Government's investment in education was paying off.
Bev: You see de latest CXC results? Dere is an 11 per cent fall in English Language passes. One-third of the students taking maths fail. Failures like dat suggest a bad investment to me.
Artie: But Senator Morris says that 110,000 students have been assisted through the cost sharing programme.
Bev: Yes, dose who have pit latrines and no electricity in dem house. If we really had 50 per cent poverty reduction, how come so many families so poor?
Artie: I was trying to show you how many students were helped.
Bev: You think de thousands of applicants who dem reject just because they have television and fridge didn't need help?
Artie: Not as much as the others.
Bev: You think de 3,000 companies dat owe de Government $30-million in taxes don't need help?
Artie: Some of them, I guess.
Bev: You think de thousands of people who been laid off in the last few years don't need help?
Artie: People need to help themselves, Bev. Government can't do everything.
Bev: Some of dem helping demselves by turning to crime. Look how many people were killed last week 640-odd since January. Most of them in drug-related incidents, de police say.
Artie: But crime generally is trending down.
Bev: Cause some people trying to win their troubles away wid de lottery but you see dat now dem have to pay 15 per cent tax on winnings. And a whole heap of young girls, even teachers and university students, gone into de massage parlour business.
Artie: You're getting me depressed, Bev. Don't you see any solution to our problems?
Bev: Not to yours, but to mine. I going ask my sister in England to file fah me.
Artie switched off the tape recorder and shook his head dolefully.
"She wants to run away too, Dads."
"I hope she has CXC English," I said. "From now on, to get British citizenship, you'll have to pass English Language tests."
