HE SPENDS hours just looking at her. Paul Hill is besotted with his new-born and has no qualms about sharing in every aspect of her care.
The first-time father does his fair share of bathing his daughter and even washes her tiny clothes.
However, he has one complaint. His weeks-old daughter seems to be more "connected" to her mother than she is to him. This a frequent complaint of fathers who have been asking the question, 'How can I get my baby to bond with me?'
Mom has all the advantages, as she carried the tyke for nine months and then suckled the infant a few minutes after emerging from the womb. How can dad ever compete with that?
It is important that in the early years father-baby bonding takes place. Those who have written on the subject point out that this is the time when baby builds his/her sense of trust, and if dad is excluded now, he is going to struggle for years to come.
Author Carla Steptoe says that the first step in the bonding process between father and baby is the provision of tactile experiences. These occur as dad assumes responsibilities of diapering, feeding, bathing, rocking, and holding.
Infant massage
The author says that infant massage provides yet another way to provide nurturing touch in a loving, fun, and natural way to enhance bonding and promote emotional, physical, and mental health of babies.
"In the womb, the baby is provided with constant touch and massage by the umbilical cord, amniotic fluid, and the muscles of the uterus. Providing massage after birth reconnects the baby to this pre-birth experience. Being touched lovingly equates to being loved, accepted, valued, and wanted. The baby learns touch outside the womb as enjoyable and associates the father with this pleasurable experience," says Steptoe.
Other bonding tips given by The BabyCentre Medical Advisory board are:
Give a midnight bottle
Have a staring contest. Babies love to contemplate faces.
Play kangaroo. Strap the baby to you and take him/her around as you do your chores, go shopping, go out with the guys!
Take a bath together. Being snuggled against Dad's chest makes for quiet bathing. You can also examine each other's toes!
Read the sports page aloud. They love to listen to the sound of your voice and the expressions on your face.
Eat together.
Change a diaper
Be there for a cold or fever. Spending time rocking a sick child will bring you closer together.
Allow them to touch you. Let babies feel your beard, your moustache to a crewcut hairdo, a father is a tactile delight.
Play time. Moms are more likely to cuddle; dads tend to get a little more physical. You should never shake a baby, but you can certainly stimulate its muscles. If your child is old enough to sit up, it might like being tossed gently in the air, or getting bounced on a knee, or being carried beneath the arm like a football. They love all of it, if only you do not do it too roughly.
O.T.
