Michael Reckord, Contributor
AFTER BUYING my vitamins at the pharmacy, I was to take Artie to the supermarket where he'd get his groceries. However, when I returned to the car, Artie announced he couldn't go the supermarket as planned.
"Why not?" I asked, sliding behind the wheel.
"I just gave away the grocery money."
"What!" About to start the car, I turned instead to stare at my young friend. "You gave away $2,000?"
Artie nodded, visibly upset.
"But-but--but --" I spluttered. "To who?"
Artie paused before answering, "To a corrupt traffic cop."
I laughed, not because the situation was funny but because it was becoming weirder and weirder. "I'm sure you'll explain what happened in the past ten minutes since I left you in my parked car," I said.
Artie again hesitated. "I was just fooling around. I guess I shouldn't have...but you'd left the keys in the ignition and I started the car." "You started my car!"
"I wasn't going anywhere, Dads. I just wanted to see how easy it was to start..."
He paused, I gestured impatiently and he continued. "Same time this policeman came up and asked for my licence. I said I didn't have one and he said he was going to charge me with four or five traffic offences unless I gave him something."
"He said it was his birthday, I suppose?" I asked, remembering a news item about a policeman using that as a reason for soliciting money from an Assistant Commissioner's son.
"No, he said the money was to buy vitally needed medication from the pharmacy. You might have seen him inside."
"Didn't notice. Go on. "
Artie patted his tape recorder on the seat beside him. "At that point, I started taping the conversation -- without him noticing, of course. Would you like to hear it?"
My laugh this time flowed from amusement, and admiration. Even in the most ticklish of circumstances, Artie manages to use his tape recorder.
"You bet," I said, and Artie pressed the Play lever.
Artie: Give you something? Like how much?
Cop: How much you have?
Artie: Grocery money. I'm on my way to --
Cop: Dat suppose to be nuff.
Artie: Two thousand dollars.
Cop: (laughs) Dat is not grocery money -- not dese days. Dat is beer money.
Artie: Is all I have.
Cop: Well, pass it over.
Artie: Is policemen like you the Commissioner probing, you know.
Cop: I know.
Artie: He going kick you out the Force.
Cop: If he don't kick me out for corruption, I'll have to leave for something else. Dat's why I collecting as much as I can from lawbreakers like you before I go.
Artie: I wasn't driving the car. Is my friend inside the --
Cop: Dat's a technicality. You have no licence but you were in sole possession a motor vehicle on a public road and the engine was running. Driving without a licence and driving without insurance alone could get you a $12,000 fine. As to the other charges
Artie: Like careless driving?
Cop: I was thinking of "reckless."
Artie: You would lie in Court, under oath?
Cop: No big ting.
Artie: I've heard about corrupt policemen, but you're the first I've met. Cop: You'll meet more when you start driving. There are a lot of us.
Artie: Oh, you're the ones the Commissioner gets daily complaints about. Cop: Right, but I hope you won't complain about me.
Artie: Why not? You going shoot me?
Cop: No, but I have AIDS.
Artie: What!
Cop: Dat's the other reason I'll have to leave the Force soon.
Artie: (anxiously) Here. Take the money and go.
Artie turned off the tape recorder.
"You believed he had AIDS?" I asked. "He's a corrupt cop. They lie." "I don't think a Jamaican man would lie about AIDS," Artie said. "So I won't report him to the Commissioner."
"Because you feel sorry for him?"
Artie nodded. "And because I'm grateful he didn't bite me."
