Amina Blackwood Meeks, Contributor
YOU KNOW sometimes some tings happen dat need more people. Like if you get up one Saturday an find two head a chocho, couple grains a peas, few carrots and such an yu rustle up de most epicurean delight till all yu wanda how yu dweet an yu know in yu heart dat you wan alone is not supposed to enjoy dat by yuself.
Yu call up yu sista, cousin visiting from farin, nayba likkle chile who home alone while nayba gane out hustling, jus call-up call-up till de yard full. By de time yu finish everybody only get a communion size sample of said soup but dem leave wid a memory of a feast an know sey dem wudda bex ef yu never call dem. An you know sey yu wudda have to beg forgiveness for keeping dat blessing to yuself for it did definitely need more people. Ever experienced anything like that?
Well, the solemnisation of holy matrimony between Patricia Dawkins and Stanley Moyston did definitely want more people even though the Church did pack to overflowing and even though the reception overflow out into the yard from the main banquet hall. And it was not a likkle Church. Nor was it a peaw-peaw reception centre.
When I arrived at the Anglican Parish Church in Port Maria on the recent Saturday in question I had was to stand up outside and peep-peep till me spy a likkle seat right behind the section reserved for the bridal party. That was my clue to head directly to the Casa Maria hotel after the ceremony and find myself a proper seat before none never leave.
It seems that all of Port Maria had come out to wish the newly-weds well. People cheered when the bride arrived. One little section close to where I was sitting, appropriately led by a lady affectionately called Miss Stormy, cheered and clapped after nearly every line of the vows was said. Till Pastor had to find a nice tone of voice to say "Could the congregation please not take part in the exchange vows."
I would not have said any such thing for it was clear to me that the whole community was getting married. All the bridal party up deh a show dem nice white teeth that radiated joy in abundance at the happening.
BIG GIFT
Everybody came with a gift. Big gift. Beautifully wrapped. And proudly hug up dem gift during de ceremony. For a good old time Jamaican country wedding is supposed to have gifts. The couple is to know that you spent some time thinking about what they might want to have and walk yu two foot and teck yu two hand and choose it. Even if yu get a likkle help with the wrapping. At the hotel now, one whole wall, from floor to almost ceiling covered in gifts, festive up the place like is Christmas. In a real way it was. It was a new beginning in the collective lives of all those gathered and they were all sharing in "the greatest of these", according to the Holy Bible love.
Patricia and Stanley are the parents of eight children and 10 grandchildren. They met when they were 17 and 19 years old and over the 35 years of their union had been so exemplary in their family life and contribution to the community that everybody glad fe see dem finally married. Not least of which were their obviously well-raised and loving children, all of whom plus five of the grandchildren were members of the bridal party. You would have to know this not to pinch yourself out of thinking that you were witnessing the marriage of a 17-year-old and a 19-year-old. The ceremony had everything from the give-away father to you-may-kiss-the-bride. And what a kiss. And what a cheer. The only cheer louder than that is reserved for the Reggae Boyz at their best.
All during the reception, one gentleman from the URoy era, who had gone completely sweet on the ocassion kept walking between the tables and muttering "wake the town and tell the people". Tell the people indeed, that family life is alive and well in Jamaica and not necessarily in the way that "good family life" is written about and discussed by people who don't really understand the ingredients of good Jamaican family life. Sometimes the most vibrant part of the Jamaican culture, don't have no "supposed to be" into it, only a "new faculty of interpretation. If yu faculties not up to date you kean interpret how it go.
CONSTANT REMINDERS
You would have to hear Stanley's and Patricia's children talk about how their father worked through the night many a night to make sure they could go to school next day. You would have to be completely lacking in faculties to hear them pay tribute to being moved by the constant reminders from their father that "Me love unnu yu know" and not be moved yourself. You would have to hear them talk about the fierce passion with which their mother protected them and drove them to accomplish excellence to see in Patricia a living example of the solid Jamaican approach to mothering that has produced so many Jamaicans of note and standing that give the rest of us so much joy in saying "Ah Jamaica me come from." And then you would have some notion of how it is these children and grandchildren came to the conclusion to plan for their parents the kind of wedding they perhaps only dreamt about.
But yu know how it go in Jamaica. We've been schooled that the only proper wedding is a traditional wedding and that traditionally cannot come out of the pockets of those who lack money and are taught to be ashamed of doing only what they can afford. So, it is either a big wedding or no wedding at all. Furthermore, taken to its traditional conclusion, no wedding, no children.
I am so thankful that Stanley and Patricia produced such a beautiful brood of bright, caring, God-fearing, proud to be black Jamaicans with such a sense of what it means to be in and contribute to the welfare of community. I am so thankful that Port Maria and indeed, all of the parish I now call home is richer because they are. And of course, this would not have been such an extraordinary love story if the script had unfolded according to supposed-to-be. Stanley and Patricia an dem whole family done know and exemplify dat married life is a serious ting.
Wake de town and tell de people. And may they be fruitful and multiply. Oops, dem do dat arreddi. May they all prosper and continue in the spirit of love and togetherness.
