IN ALMOST every relationship, there is conflict about money. Some believe that without a similar financial outlook, a marriage is doomed. This fortunately, is a mere belief, not a fact, and as such there are practical ways to deal with spouses who are spendthrifts, while striking that all-important balance, when it comes to your views on money and spending.
ADJUST THE NEGATIVE ATTITUDE
No one likes an "I'm right, you're wrong" attitude. This usually places people on the defensive, and rather than creating an environment to facilitate compromise and solutions, it creates a tense atmosphere with an unresolved situation. So, if you're the one in the relationship with better saving habits, instead of pointing the finger, sit down and assess different approaches that could be taken in situations where your spouse would like to, or has spent, a lot of money. For instance, if your spouse wants to purchase an item that is way too expensive, find a way to compromise, offer to help your partner check around for a more reasonable price. You could also indicate the things you see as taking priority over this purchase. To some, money equates to power and freedom, and if this freedom to spend is denied by an overbearing spouse, unfortunately, this may cause the spendthrift to retaliate by spending even more. Surely this is not ideal, so approach this problem positively, with solutions to bring to the table, instead of blame and argument. Also, in choosing your words, ensure that you bring across the fact that the real goal of budgeting and saving your money, is not to deprive, but to ensure that you're spending on things you really need, as opposed to wasting it on things that aren't important. Also remember that the ultimate goal is to ensure that you'll have extra money to depend on, in times of unexpected financial crisis.
TALK ABOUT YOUR GOALS
Get together and discuss what your goals are, what you both really want out of life. When you've laid that out, develop a plan of action to achieve those objectives. The time you both would like to take to achieve them may require a bit of compromise as well. In the end, just ensure that the list of goals is a reasonable mix of what you both want, and the time for each one to be achieved is fairly allocated.
ADDING IT ALL UP
Spenders tend to live in the moment than for tomorrow. They may not see where lunch purchases and eating out several times a month is a big deal. What you can do is show them the bigger picture, by pointing out the actual figure of how much money they could save, by simply packing a lunch from home sometimes, or reduce eating out to twice a month. The fact is, little expenses do add up. At the end of the day, you can both identify areas where you can each cut back.
JOINT BILL ACCOUNT
One of the ways you can ensure that your priority bills get paid is to have a joint account that you both put an agreed amount of money into, for the payment of such bills. This way, you will both have your separate spending money, without having to account to anyone. Even so, for financial security, you should spend money keeping both your goals in mind, and the contribution you both have to make towards them. Fortunately, there is no need for anguish, as most marital money problems can be resolved with patience and dedication. Situations where your partner simply does not want to change, has a gambling or more serious problem, may require a more rigorous approach like counselling. Remember, how well you save and invest may determine how well you're able to survive in life. Do not allow a spendthrift spouse to spoil the dreams of attaining both your lives' objectives.
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