THE EDITOR, Sir:
LAST NIGHT I met a beautiful lady. She said her name was Jamaica. Her dress was a bit frayed at the ends and her stockings had a run, she had obviously seen better times. But her class was unmistakable. She said that she was facing a serious problem. Her current lover, a gentleman by the name of PNP, wasn't treating her well; he kept complaining of fiscal deficits, debt-to-GDP ratios, micro- and macro-economical problems and a burgeoning debt which posed problems for the relationship.
She knows that her current lover made some imprudent decisions, he ran with projects which he knew weren't feasible, wouldn't stop the progress despite Professor Mansingh's warnings, because it was an election year, but he had promised to fix things when the time came. Now he is introducing her to a new lover name PSOJ, along with her old lover JLP. She said disgustingly, "I am not interested in any threesomes." She remembered that PSOJ had lied to her lover telling him he was on the right track, so she didn't trust him.
She said nostalgically that she longed for her previous lover, JLP, who used to perform, their relationship grew quite well during the 1980s, but after 15 years she wondered if he still had what it takes to satisfy her. He kept telling her he had done it before and he could do it again. But 15 years is a long time. She had once toyed with the idea of a young lover, NDM, but quickly realised he didn't have any staying power.
Her current lover, PNP, gave her two cellular phones in her back pocket so that if she felt depressed she could use one and call the other, and say, "Hello! Hello!" He had also given her a deportee and built some fancy highways. Whenever her current lover had serious problems he solicited help from, at one time a handsome guy named Stewart and one name Moses. But she knew these affairs wouldn't last.
As we parted company she looked a bit sad but in the distance I could hear her singing, "Torn between two lovers, baby I am a fool, Loving both of you is breaking all the rules."
I am, etc.,
MARK CLARKE
Frome P.O.
Westmoreland
