By Kinisha O'Neill, Staff Reporter
HE APPEARS to be about 40 years old; he's good-looking and has a fit physique aside from a slight paunch (like most men his age); he usually sports a cap and a pair of jeans always casual with a hint of style rugged, 'young-boy' casual; he's just an average brown-skinned Jamaican guy, who effortlessly radiates the 'girls' man' image.
He is energetic; excited about life; unassuming and non-judgmental. He spends much of his time as an activist helping to fight for those, particularly of the inner city, who have been wronged in any way. He says this is what keeps him focused and aware that no matter how tough his existence may seem, it could be worse.
He's also HIV positive.
We'll call him John, we'll say he's from Spanish Town and he has five children. Still, John is very real. He just wants to keep his identity as hidden as much as possible, because although he is especially vocal about his disease when it comes to educating people, he is still aware of the possible repercussions if those within his community knew about his disease. He isn't really hiding he says, he's trying to remain safe.
That is what has kept him so well for the past three years being fearless, deciding not to hide, or live a life of shame. Since being diagnosed with the Human Immuno-Deficiency Virus (HIV) three years ago, a positive attitude, and the ability to let go of the resentment that comes along with this type of disease, he says, have helped him tremendously. John tells us his story
"As you know, most man girly, girly and don't talk to just one woman that was me. But it really doesn't pay. But these things happen as a blessing in disguise, to bring you back to reality. Women always used to come check me. I had a bonafide girl, but she wasn't my own. She was living with somebody. She would come check me sometimes, and I had four other women who would check me too.
"The one who gave it (HIV) to me was a cokehead. I knew not to get involved with that type of girl, but I did anyway. It's like, sometimes we know not about something, but we think it can't happen to me. I knew a lot of people who were involved with her, even some big men. When I saw this girl, I would have to pay her, because she was a cokehead and everybody knew she was - she'd always be on the road prostituting. None of the women who used to come around were mine; they weren't upfront. But I could always call them, and if they could come, they would. They weren't regular, so I used the prostitute when the others weren't available.
"All of that happened when I lived in a certain area. When I moved from that area, the relationship with all of those women stopped, except a special one. After I moved, I was just sleeping with that woman right up until I found out I was HIV-positive.
"I found out after I had lost a daughter. I became very stressed because of the circumstances how it happened. I started to drink hard. My system got weak. I had no appetite and I was losing weight. When I walked, it was like I was pushing an old truck, I would have to stop and catch my breath. I started to deteriorate. There were signs to show that something was wrong, and you should pick up on those signs quickly, so that your doctor can help you so it won't reach full-blown AIDS. But, as a man sometimes, you don't want to face the fact that something is wrong. My family had to force me to go to the doctor.
"Before that stress, I wasn't troubling with anything at all so it wasn't until that happened I found out. And it took about one year before the symptoms to occur. At the time I was also having a sore throat, and I went to the doctor and got medicine for it, but it still wouldn't go away. After a while, my whole mouth got white, right down to the back of my throat. That is one of the symptoms of the disease, but who knows how long I had it before all of this.
GOD'S PLAN
"I went to the doctor and got the diagnosis. He gave me a CD cell count to determine how weak my system was. The count was a 10 which is supposed to be full blown, but if it was, I wouldn't have recovered this fast. After I got medication I gained weight after the first month and gained every month after. The doctor has no explanation for that.
"I believe God has something planned for me, because sometimes I don't even know how I survive each day (financially). Actually I believe I'm doing it. I do a lot of volunteer work because that's what I think God wants me to do.
"I just want people to know that people with this disease are not bad; they are just like you. For people living with it, I would tell them not to go out and have unprotected sex. I encourage people who are positive to go and find somebody they can talk to. I make myself available to sit down and talk to people, because it's not easy. But if you have a positive mind, you can deal with it - you have to accept it, don't fret over death. Death can be anywhere; you can die at any time.
"I am with that same woman I had been with. But, she's living with somebody still. It's not like gone days. We use protection now. When she found out, it was hard but she came back.
TALKING ABOUT IT
"I meet people living with the virus like myself, but they don't want to be in a relationship. I believe if you are living with it, it's best you find someone who is living with it too - so at least both of you can know. A lot of them are in denial. Sometimes people with it don't even want to talk about it, they just want to get rid of it. But, if you talk, it is better for you. You have to accept it; you can't play the blame game - even if you know somebody willingly gave it to you. I am positive about it, I see it just as an ordinary illness.
"I don't see it as a killer. You can live a long time with the virus. People with the virus have a lot to give thanks for, because you have a long way to make good. Look at Magic Johnson, he's been living with it for 20 years. That is something to celebrate.
"For everyone else, protect yourself in all relationships. Always use a condom. It doesn't matter if you are even married; it's not sparing anybody. Stick to one partner, and each partner do the right thing."
At the time of this interview, John told Flair that he had recently recovered from the Swine flu. He said that unlike some persons who were not HIV-positive, and had this flu, he didn't have to be hospitalised. He said he recovered from this illness in approximately a week, which is record time even for the average healthy person. It was the second time he had fought off the flu this season. For people with HIV this is a major accomplishment, as they can catch and die from influenza easily. John says it's because he is strong and healthy, plus God still has a lot of work for him to do.
