Daley
Mark Dawes, Staff Reporter
FOR YEARS, the Rev. J. Oliver Daley was known, loved, and respected as one of Jamaica's outspoken church leaders. He had an image as a busy Kingston pastor, then he seemed to have fallen off the radar, leading some to wonder what has become of him.
Well, he is in Manchester, serving the Ridgemount United Church. He says he is enjoying it and has no intention to return to live in Kingston.
The Rev. Mr. Daley, became a pastor in 1969, the same year he was graduated from the United Theological College of the West Indies. He served initially as the Minister at the Meadowbrook United Church. Then he moved to Webster United Church in St. Andrew, where he spent 21 years as pastor. He was enjoying a fulfilling career at Webster when the leaders at Ridgemount invited him to become their shepherd.
At the time he got the letter of invitation from Ridgemount, he said he asked himself, "How many more years would I wish to stay here?. Would I wish to retire here?. At the time I could have served the church for another 12 years (before retiring)--Do I want to spend another 12 years in the same place?"
He explained: "I also began to feel that I was reaching that place where I was running out of energy and steam and I needed a new place to re-energise me, replenish and empower me in ministry--I think I wanted a new challenge. I think I was afraid of getting stale. I also had never served rural Jamaica as a pastor. In the end when I couldn't decide, I used this principle - when you struggle with God's will, and you are not sure what to do because either decision could be honourable - do the more difficult thing."
In 1999, the Rev. Mr. Daley left Webster's with a membership of 900 to become pastor at Ridgemount with a membership of 300 persons. That same year he married Juliet, a consultant physician, who now serves at the Mandeville Hospital and who complements his ministry "just by her own faithfulness to Christ, and by her own loyalty to the cause."
The geographical relocation, however, did not mean a reduction in salary, for it is the denomination the United Church in Jamaica and the Cayman Islands, that pays him. But with this move, he explains, he is giving less time to administration and more time to pastoral care.
"I believe that the ministry is most effective when the pastor is known to be a pastor. Here, too, I have insisted that I will spend more time in people's homes and with people. There is a saying that if you are invisible during the week you are incomprehensible on Sunday. If you are not meeting needs you are not relevant. If you don't know needs you can't meet them."
The Rev. Mr. Daley, 59, who grew up in Hanover, said if he were to become a pastor again, he would more quickly set up better administrative support systems to better facilitate his being free to care for souls. His has been a busy public life serving on various boards. He has been both general secretary and later president of the Jamaica Council of Churches; and moderator of the United Church in Jamaica and the Cayman Islands.
He gained much prominence during his tenure as a JCC officer, where he led the charge against the introduction of casino gambling, lottery gambling and carnival in Jamaica. He was pilloried by business groups and wide sections of the public for his moral positions.
But perhaps, the Rev. Oliver Daley is best known as the calm, empathetic voice who listened to people's struggles with relationships on the Radio Jamaica daytime programme - 'Family Counsellor', which was aired during the period 1981 to 1999. He earned the reputation as one of the nation's finest counsellors and was widely sought after for advice. Not much changed with his relocation to Manchester. He is still sought out for his advice and he devotes an average of 18 hours per week to counselling. He continues his radio ministry on the programme, 'Morning Counsellor' which is broadcast two days per week.
Though he has generously given his advice, he is quick to point out that he has had his own struggles and issues for which he has sought counselling.
"I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death," he says.
He has three biological children - two daughters and a son. One of his daughters is principal of a prominent Corporate Area Prep School, the other daughter has just completed a degree in engineering management, and his son, for the last five years, has been in a United States prison, serving a life
sentence. During the 1990s, his wife Denise, with whom there was an estrangement, killed herself.
Talking about that suicide, he recounted: "When I heard I felt like I had a sentence-- There was the shock, the denial of it, the anger. There was the anger with myself, sometimes with God, with her, with church, with everybody. There was the guilt. I was awash in guilt. There was confusion about the relationship of what I do, and what has happened in my life. Family is the centre of church life. There was the sense of public suspicion in terms of what had gone on behind closed doors. But in the midst of all of that, I had a very supportive congregation at Webster Memorial. I had enjoyed a relationship of tremendous goodwill with them. And that maintained itself. I just decided I would learn to be patient. I went to counselling and waded through the waters and this is where I learnt my perspective."
That trauma he acknowledged has greatly helped him to help hurting people. "I get a lot of people sent to me who are struggling with suicide and who are suicide victims i.e. families of persons who have committed suicide.
"All this pain," he said, "has taught me to be humble, it has taught me to be human. I don't have any wealth to pass on. My legacy is an affirmative smile, and a reassuring hug, even if it is misunderstood.
Continued next week. Send feedback to mark.dawes@gleanerjm.com
